Ironic Love
by LJforever
Summary: Ironic how love works. Sakura begged Sasuke to stay but he left her 6 years ago. Now, it's Sasuke's turn to beg for Sakura to stay. Will the timing ever work out for them? rated for sexual content in Ch. 9..2 versions of it
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Naruto..or the characters...although i wish i did own Sasuke..:)

An angsty story about the love that developed between BEST PAIRING EVER! Sasuke and Sakura. Mostly flashbacks about how it started..well here it is..ENJOY!

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Chapter One: The Beginning

It was cold…or at least he was cold. He was always cold now. His fingers were always numb. He felt just the way he did when the only thought in his mind was lust, lust for that bastard's blood. Back then, he didn't desire anything else except Itachi's blood, he rarely ate, slept, and he certainly didn't talk to anyone he didn't have to. That was years ago and although things were different now…he felt just the same. He remembered when he first came back from his failed mission hanging on to Naruto because he had sustained so many injuries that he would no longer support himself. He remembered the shame he felt for being carried back by deadlast himself. He also remembered how she wasn't there. Of all the things constant in his life, which wasn't a lot, she was the most constant of all. Always fussing over him with "Sasuke-kun this" and "Sasuke-kun that"….Man, she was annoying as hell. Now, he couldn't even call her annoying since she wouldn't come running to his side just the way he thought she always would.

**Flashback** (italics means part of flashback…normal means present thoughts..)

"_Stay here, I'm going to get someone to put you in a room"_

_Stupid Naruto! He knows I hate hospitals!_

"_Sa..Sasuke?"_

_I looked up, "Sakura?" I heard myself say_

_Naruto did mention that she was training to be a medic-nin. Hn, she looked the same as always, albeit more grown up and attractive but that's not something I'd like to admit, even to myself._

I didn't appreciate her then, I still thought she was just the same fan girl clinging on to my every word, every action. I didn't feel apologetic in the least bit even though I knew I had torn her apart the day I left. I just knew it was easier to forget that people like her, especially her, had feelings.

_I grunted, trying to pretend like I didn't feel like shit. She knew better…maybe those medic-nin training sessions were doing her some good. She looked shocked for a moment but a new look replaced that one. It wasn't a look of adoration or relief that I had come back, it was more of a 'I'm professionally trained for these dumb asses who get the shit kicked out of them' look. Whatever, I knew she was excited to see me…she was just better at…hiding it._

_She walked away from me and I thought she would turn around and apologize for being forgetful or some other stupid klutzy Sakura thing. Instead, she walked into a room in one of the hallways and a couple of nurses came and brought me into the room. It was a typical hospital room that was as much as I could retain before passing out on the bed from exhaustion._

**End of Flashback**

Sakura did her medic things for me for an entire week, making sure that I was in good condition but she never acknowledged that I was her ex-team mate or the one she claimed to be madly in love with. After I was released from the hospital, she checked up on me every three days, but it was her duty. The hokage, Tsunade, had ordered her to keep track of me. The village wanted to make sure that I didn't have any traitorous feelings towards them.

She'd come in, change the bandages, checked that I was healing properly, and left. We had started to have some conversation, avoiding the obviously straining topic of my departure and the reasons. At that point, she was the only friend, no… acquaintance that I had had in the past who few years. For some strange reason that I was too ignorant to realize or admit at the time, I had started to look forward to her routine check ups.

**Flashback**

"_Sasuke? It's me, Sakura. Where are you?"_

_Hn, right on time, if there was something that had changed about her, it certainly was not her punctuality or her cheerfulness for that matter._

"_In my room"_

_Sakura knocked, and I looked to up to see her in a red dress, one that was slightly different from the one she used to wear when we were 12._

"_How are you today?"_

_"Fine, so you can stop coming over"_

"_I know you're not stupid so I know you know I can't do that" she says even sticking her tongue out at me at the end. _

_She had obviously loosened up in the past few visits but she was definitely not like before. She didn't jump at the opportunity to see me topless when she had to re-bandage me. I was shocked that first time, either she had moved on (highly unlikely) or she had become very good at keeping her emotions to herself (also unlikely)._

_When she was done her routine, she walked out of my room and sat down in front of my counter, facing my kitchen and put her head down in her arms. This was weird, she never did this. I walked in after her and stood there in front of her with my arms crossed and my eyebrow raised. She looked up._

_"Sorry, I just need a moment"_

_She had definitely shifted from her playful personality from before and upon closer inspection she was looking a bit pale._

_"Training's been really tough lately. It always seems like there's more to learn and not enough time to actually learn it."_

_I was surprised, she hadn't opened up to me until now even though we had been reunited for three months. I didn't really know what to say._

_"You shouldn't push yourself too hard. If you get too fatigued, you won't be able to do anyone any good."_

_I went to the fridge and got her a glass of cold water. That's when I heard her laugh …something she rarely did around me nowadays._

_"What?" I said a bit rudely_

_"Is **that** what you live off of?"_

_I looked in my fridge, there was some water and some milk and half a sandwich that was probably there since **before** I left. I grunted_

_"Honestly Sasuke, I'm surprised that you've even recovered at all." She said playfully._

_Was she criticizing me? I turned around and slammed the water on the table "Here, take it or leave it!"_

_She looked stunned and a bit scared but that all disappeared from her face and was replaced by coolness and indifference_

_"I should get going, I have other people to see today"_

_She left and shut the door behind her. Good, she was getting on my nerves anyway! I spent the rest of the day being moody._

**End of Flashback**

That was the first time she opened up to me and I treated her like crap. But that was who I was; a selfish asshole. She deserved better than me and it's my fault. Everything that happened to her is my fault because if I had never come back, she would have had a better life.

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A/N: Hey peeps! lol..this is the first chapter...took me while to start...I hope you like it and defiitely feel free to tell me if u like it or not...or if u think it's too...cheesy?..overdone? 

It might be difficult for me to update...school's winding down...so LOTS of work...but i'll try...Sorry in advance:S:S


	2. Chapter 2: Stupid and Useless Jealousy

Disclaimer: Once again, i don't own Naruto..pretty obvious cuz then i probably wouldn't have to post my fic here :)

ok so ch. 2...started at midnight...so hopefully there aren't too many typos..sorry if there are

Thanks to those who did review or put anything on fav/alerts...love you guys!

..so lets get to it!...enjoy!

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Chapter 2:Stupid and Useless Jealousy

The wind blew through my hair. It's the kind of wind that sends a chill through every bone in your body. I don't care if it's cold or if the sun is setting or if I've been here for hours. I will stay here until she comes to meet me. She said she would be here and we would go out somewhere like we usually did. This is where I would see her long cherry blossom coloured hair blowing behind her. This is where I'm going to stand until I see those bright green eyes light up. She said to meet her here and I'm going to wait for her because I promised I would.

**Flashback**

_I thought she would refrain from my next usual check up because I had pushed her away when she had tried to open up. I was in bed trying hard not to think about my failed mission but that was hard to do when I was left alone. I didn't sleep at all last night thinking about that.. and something else._

_"Sasuke? It's me, Sakura." _

_Hn, I guess she proved me wrong. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.. especially when it came to her behaviour. Well, she'll probably act cold and uncaring to show that she's still angry with me…her voice does sound a little strained._

_I was getting a little restless so I decided to get out of my room. That's when I saw the reason why her voice sounded strained. She was carrying two giant paper bags filled up with something that was apparently pretty heavy. She struggled over to my counter without asking for any help; maybe she was trying to seem strong? I grumbled and walked over to her and took the bags._

_I was shocked to find every kind of fresh food available...stuff that I had never been in possession of in my life. I put the junk down on the counter before I turned to her._

"_Thank-"_

"_What the hell is all of this?"_

"_Well a few days ago, I saw that you didn't have anything to eat so I decided to help make it a bit more liveable around here"_

_She opened my fridge and started to throw out the mouldy crap and put the new food in. I was once again clueless as to what I should say to her and confused as hell as to why I cared enough to want to say anything to her at all. Wasn't she supposed to hate me? Wasn't she supposed to be at home angry with me for my outburst even though she had devoted her time to me? But instead, she was concerned again and buying me food. No one had ever thought about my eating habits before. No one cared enough about that. Everyone wanted to know if I could fight harder or faster or for longer periods of time. But that was not what she was concerned about. _

"_Thanks" I tried saying it in the quietest, most mumbled tone I could possibly get away with hoping that she didn't hear me-_

"_Your welcome" She said simply, but she turned her head to look at me and flashed me a genuine smile. Not one of those flirtatious ones she used to give me, and not one where she was hiding something like she'd give me now after my return but a real unadulterated smile. _

_I suddenly felt like I wanted to do something that would make her turn around and do that again. But then I stopped and realized what I was truly thinking about. What the hell was wrong with me? This is Sakura. Sakura 'Annoying Weak Brat' Haruno. So what happened to her annoying weak brat persona? When did she become mature and seemingly not so weak? And the million dollar question that I tried to pretend I wasn't thinking about: Why didn't she respond to me the way she used to?…that was the real truth behind my sleepless night. _

_I shook all those annoying questions out of my head; they were giving me a headache. I looked over at her again and realized that she was dressed differently. She was wearing dark jeans and a black top that was…fitted finished with black heals. It was simple but looked fancy and there was no doubt about it…she was a woman now. I don't think I had ever seen her dressed like this. After a few minutes, I forced myself to stop staring and cleared my throat and tried to clear my head..again._

_"Where are you going tonight?" I tried to sound nonchalant_

_She glanced at me, "Out" _

_"By yourself?"_

_She giggled, "No silly, with someone else"_

_Trying to control some unreasonable anger I replied, "Who?"_

_"A guy I met from the hospital"_

_I felt anger again. Why was I angry? So what if she made plans with a guy on the day she was supposed to make sure I was healing properly? Good for her, at least now she'd be off **my** back..not likely!..right?_

_She came over to the counter where I had sat down and started to take off my shirt. I jumped when her fingers met my skin. It was unexpected..that's all._

_"Hold on, I want to check your ribs"_

_"They haven't been broken for a month"_

_"Yes well, they still might be a bit weak, I just want to make sure they're still healing."_

_She goes through the rest of the check up, in her normal routine, but this time I can't help but notice that she's uncomfortably close and her hair keeps brushing against my chest and her fingers felt soft and warm over every scar she went over. I blame it on the fact that I haven't **been** with anyone in a long time. She finishes and I can see that she is in a hurry._

_"OK, well I'm finished here, I should get going."_

_I wanted to yell at her. How dare she put her date ahead of her job of assuring that I am doing well!_

_"Whatever, these things are stupid anyway. Do you really ever find anything new or concerning during these check ups?-"_

_"If your next question is 'why can't you just stop coming?' just stop right there because you ask me every time and you already know the answer."_

_Did she just cut me off?_

_She walked to the door "I'm leaving"_

_I just walked back into my room and fell on the bed. I tried to not think about how soft her hair was or how good she looked or how she was going off to meet 'a guy.' I closed my eyes…most of all, I forced myself to not get up and follow her and beat the shit out of that guy. I tried to just sleep._

**End of Flashback**

That was the first time she had made me feel something other than what any teammate would feel for their team. That was the first time anyone had provoked something as stupid and useless as jealousy. Although at the time, I didn't know it was jealousy, or I just didn't admit it. After all, what was there to be jealous about? I had never liked her and never saw anything more to her than an annoying weak brat I had to protect out of duty.

She had that effect on me. She was and is the only one who can have that effect. So that is why I am here waiting for her even though it is now dark. She said this is where we would meet and I promised her. I won't break my promise…especially to her.

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hello again! 

awww..poor sasuke...he's such an egotistical asshole isn't he?..oh well...its kind of what makes him hot..lol

so if u were wondering what i meant...yes sasuke is NOT a virgin gasp...but come on...someone who is such a chick magnet can't possibly stay virginal when he's in his late teens rite?

anyways...rating might go up...i might include something heated later...should i?...

let me know ...im always up for hearing what you guys think!

well see you soon..hopefully!


	3. Chapter 3:First Kiss and Sunsets Part I

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...blah blah blah.

some of you were concerned but never fear!..this IS a sasu/saku fic!...and you will see some action in this chapter!..yay!

ok i posted this chapter late last night and i realized that i shouldn't write at nite becuz the chapter came out really rushed...so i tried to fix it up..sorry if you thought i posted another chap!...i just really needed to add some more stuff it seemed

Enjoy!

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Chapter 3: First kiss and Sunsets (Part I)

The sun is going down fast. It looked like a painting, surreal and beautiful. Back then I would have never noticed something as trivial as the way the sky looked. Really, the sun set and rose everyday, it was literally clockwork. But she managed to make everything different. Now when I see the sun set, I see that one streak of pink that looks almost identical to her hair. She loves sunsets.

**Flashback** (reminder that non-italics means not part of flashback..sorry if it gets confusing!)

_Three days had passed from the night she left for her date. I still hadn't figured out who the hell he was and needless to say everything was getting on my nerves. There were so many things I wanted to know but I couldn't just ask. The most frequent question that kept coming to mind was: why the hell did I care what she did and whom she did it with? I've been asking myself that for longer than I'd like to admit._

_I let out a frustrated grumble and ran my hand through my hair. Whatever, I have to just forget about it. 'Just pull yourself together when she gets here.' I told myself._

_"Sasuke? It's me, Sakura." _

_That same damned line! Every time she gets here-- why the fuck can't she say something else! …well so much for pulling myself together._

_She walked in with a casual summer dress and a smile. She screamed happiness in every way...it was damned annoying._

_"How are feeling today?" she asked cheerfully._

_"Not any differently than three days ago." _

_"Oh well..did you learn to eat any of the food I bought?" she was clearly trying to make some sort of happy conversation but I was not taking the bait._

_She walked over to my fridge and opened it. She looked inside and laughed, "Really Sasuke, cooking is not that scary. If you can do the chuunin exams, you can cook too," she said mockingly. _

_"Whatever," I mumbled. In truth, I honestly had no idea what to do with that stuff but who was she to judge me? What ifI wasn't hungry?_

_She started pulling stuff out "Here I'll show you how to make a sandwich..its' pretty easy"_

_She was washing the vegetables in the sink and cutting things with knives thatI didn't even know existed in this house. She looked really content humming to herself and giving me some instructions here and there. Why was she so damned happy? Did she enjoy herself THAT much with that asshole. I couldn't take it. She was suffocating me with her cheerful humming, and her cheerfulsmile, and her cheerful dress. She was happy with something and what was worse, she looked ...ugh...pretty doing it. I just couldn't take it._

_"Did you have fun?" Innocent question right?… not when I added a sneer._

_She looked at me with her eyebrow raised, "With wh- Oh...It was alright" her cheerfulness seemed to seep out of her slowly as she sighed in a defeated sort of way. _

_I must admit, it made me a littlehappy to hear that pretty boy was less than fun._

_"Hn"_

_"He was nice but he looked more at his own reflection in his spoon than at me." She stuck her tongue out in disgust._

_I smirked. She had given me the perfect opportunity to blow some steam.For some reason, I hated the fact that she was going out with other guys andI didn't care about hiding it.I'm not very good at controlling my anger (If that wasn't obvious) and whateverI say to her now..shedeserved it for being so happy in my house."Serves you right."_

_"What does **that** mean?"_

_"It means you shouldn't just go out with random guys. You shouldn't be desperate about these things."_

_Her jaw dropped.She was definitely notcheerful anymoreand I smirked again…but not for long_

_"What exactly do you know about 'these things'? When was the last time the great Uchiha prodigy had an actual girlfriend?"_

_She was insulting me…AGAIN!.. What is with this woman?_

_"I've been with lots of girls!" I stated outraged _

_"I said girlfriends not whores!"_

_I was caught. I never thought that Sakura would say that and I certainly never anticipated what my answer would be for that so I said what first came to mind in my very irritated state, "You would know a thing or two about being a whore wouldn't you?"_

_As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I knew that I had crossed a line. Even though we were both fuming to the point of spitting fire, it was almost in a humoured way. But I had never been in a fight like that. A fight where I wasn't supposed to kill and we weren't using violence. In the past years, I had never been in a fight where I wanted to come out still friends with the enemy._

_I didn't care when I was making her angry, anger I could deal with. Somehow, however, I knew that I had hurt her…and **that **was something I didn't know how to deal with._

_I couldn't take it back. That was against everything that I was. Why should I care anyway? She deserved everything I said to her! It was her fucking fault that I was pissed off. If she weren't here, I wouldn't have spent three sleepless nights thinking about hurting that guy. For Christ's sake, I didn't even know who the hell he was!_

_"Why the hell do you care?" Her voice was quiet and calm in a lethal kind of way._

_"Care about what? I never said that I cared!"_

_"Why bother asking if I had fun? What's your problem anyway? You've been acting even more like an asshole recently. And what gives you the goddamn right to call me a whore! He was a nice, good-looking guy that I met in the hospital who asked me out! Why can't I go out with him without being a whore?"_

_By the end of her rant, she was back to screaming at the top of her lungs and she had already given me ample time to re-establish my anger at her. I was ready to drop the whole topic but then she just had to bring up that piece of shit of a guy._

_"I don't care what you do! Go out with your stupid guys from the hospital! I just find it irresponsible of you to be making plans when you have a job to do!"_

_"Don't you dare give me that bullshit! You know this is a joke of a job! If you weren't stupid and you didn't leave, I would not be wasting my time here babysitting you every three days when I could be helping people who might actually need me! Not to mention the fact that I finished looking you over before I left!"_

_I stepped up to her slowly and angrily and she started to back away. "Let's get this straight," I said, dragging out every word, seething with anger as I advanced. She was really pissing me off now._

_"Whatever I decided to do before was something I had to do and it had nothing to do with betraying the village. Just because this stupid village can't trust me doesn't mean I want you here."_

_She continued stumbling backwards. She was breathing hard and even though I was mad as hell I couldn't help but notice the way her chest heaved as she breathed in and out erratically. I couldn't help but notice how her green eyes were burning with an angry passion and even while she was livid beyond belief, she managed to look gorgeous._

_I stepped closer until she was trapped between my door and me. I towered over her and trapped her. I leaned in and breathed out inher ear and felt the shiver run through her body. "Listen to me closely, I am not the one who decided that I needed you here."_

_She contorted her face in anger again, ready to scream something else at me but I couldn't take it. She was just plain hot when she was pissed off and somehow, through all that anger that was still undoubtedly there, I leaned down and closed the distance between us._

_I crushed my lips onto hers and pushed every inch of her body against the wall with every inch of my body. She let out a low moan. Oh how I loved women who gave in. Even though she was a well-trained kunoichi, her body was soft and ready to be moulded._

_I moved my lips against hers using my tongue to sweep across her lower lip. She shivered again at the contact, this time against my body and I couldn't help but groan. She pushed her hands into my hair and I reveled in the feeling of her pulling me in as if she needed me more than anything. I tilted her head back even more trying to gain more access to her mouth. She tasted like vanilla and she smelled like cherry blossoms. _

_She was luring me in and I was already drowning. I wanted more and I tried to slant her head so that she was part her lips for mebut instead of opening her mouth for my entry, she slid her hands back down to my shoulders and pushed against me._

_I didn't want to move, she was just teasing me. I pushed harder against her but she persisted. I pulled away and looked down at her with angry and confused,lust-filled eyes and was surprised to seethat the anger in her eyes had faded away…and so had the passion. It was all replaced by hurt so I backed away slightly but still trapping her._

_"I can't….what are you doing?" she whispered._

_Before I could reply, her hand left my shoulders and found the doorknob. She opened the door, turned around and ran._

_I stood there completely stunned. I couldn't even register what had happened let alone run after her so I just stood there, staring at the spot where she had been just moments ago. Once again, I was left thinking 'what the hell is wrong with me?'_

_A few minutes later, I realized that I was still staring at that same spot with my door wide open. I swore under my breath and shut the door. I walked into my bathroom and turned the shower on at its coldest temperature. I needed it._

That was the first time we kissed. It wasn't romantic and it wasn't perfect. It was just one fuming idiot attacking a fuming but beautiful girl. Although I had hurt her, it was a moment that neither of us would have traded; it was a moment that only we could call our first kiss and that was what was important. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't such a jackass to her. Sometimes, I regretted a lot of the things I said to her but she always told me that she loved me and then I would stop regretting because I knew that no matter what I said, I loved her too

But now, that regret wouldn't go away.

To be continued (flashback not over)……

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hey! 

so...as i have said...the flashback is not over..this one's really long soI interrupted it with some present thoughts..hopefully that wasn't too confusing

thanks so much for the reviews and favourites..they make me super happy!...im really glad that you guys liked it...and to answer sillymail...the guy that sakura went out with isn't in the series..and he isn't really relevant in the story except to make sasuke jealous..:)...gotta love a jealous sasuke!

did you guys like the like the sasu/saku scene?...it felt a bit rushed but i wanted to include some for you guys:)

anyways...tell me what u guys think or if u have any questions..i'd be happy to answer them!

see you soon!


	4. Ch 4: First Kiss and Sunsets Part II

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

another week, another chapter!

This one starts off slow, trying to establish more of Sasuke's character but its pretty dramatic at the end! yay.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 4 : First Kiss and Sunsets Part II

**Flashback** continued..

_I stood in the shower and let the cold water run through my hair and down my body. At times I felt numb from shock at what I had done; other times I replayed the scene in my mind remembering her lips on mine and how satisfying and frustrating it all was at the same time. Then I would remember the look on her face, and I would be back to the numb feeling._

_She said 'I can't..' Why did she say that? What did she mean she couldn't? None of it made any sense to me. I have never had to approach a female the way I did with her, they just came at me and then I'd push them aside, so why did she make me feel so desperate?_

_I sank back on the shower wall and closed my eyes, why was everything so different now? And what was I supposed to do now? Should I look for her?…no!..she ran off…let her figure things out. I had better things to do than look for a crying girl. I hate crying._

_When I was sure the cold shower had had the desired effect on me, I turned it off and wrapped a towel around my waist. I went to my fridge and took out some alcohol, something I had bought for myself. I sat in front of my TV. Dust had collected on it; that was how long I had left it unused._

_I'm here, in my house, with the silence that I have always wanted…. but it was just so quiet that I could hear everything in my head. I slammed the bottle down…where the hell is that damned kunoichi?_

_Needless to say I was dressed and out my window in two seconds. It's not that I actually wanted to talk to her or cared about how I made her feel for that matter, it's more that I want to make sure she's not in any physical harm. After all, she was my former teammate…at least, that was what I was telling myself…I do that a lot it seems._

_My first guess was the hospital. If there was one thing I learned about her is that she loves her job. I asked one of the nurses there if they had seen her but she told me that Sakura had the day off. Ok, well there's always the Ichiraku. I went to the ramen house only to find Naruto and Hinata. I didn't feel like getting into a conversation now so I left as fast as I could. …This was irritating…where the hell was she?_

_Logically, I checked her house next. I knew she probably wouldn't open her door for me if I just knocked, so I went up to her window. She wasn't in her room but just as I had suspected, she kept the window unlocked. That woman is really going to get herself killed one of these days! I went through her entire house and she still wasn't there! Damnit! What the hell is she doing? Now I was really becoming pissed off. I only wanted to make sure she was ok so why did she have to disappear?_

_I got out of her house and decided to look in the streets of Konoha. Where else could she be? Could something have already happened to her? She was strong, but strong enough to fend off an attacker? I was thinking and looking at the same time and all of the sudden I heard a shriek._

_"Sasuke-kun! Long time no see! How are you?" _

_Great, if there was someone who I wanted to run away from me it would be Ino._

_She giggled her annoying giggle "Oh Sasuke! Don't worry I'm not after you anymore! I'm with Shika..where is that lazy bum anyway? Anyways, a lot of things have changed since you left you know. Sakura can have you now if she wants you."_

_The mention of Sakura's name reminded me of my search. "Do you know where she is?"_

_"Sakura? No, I haven't seen her all day. Isn't she at ho-"_

_I didn't stay to hear the end of her question. It didn't matter. All that mattered right now was that Sakura wasn't at home, she wasn't at the hospital, she wasn't at the Ichiraku, and no one knew where she was. Where was she? I found myself asking for the thousandth time._

_On top of everything, what Ino said kept replaying in my mind. 'a lot of things have changed since you left you know. Sakura can have you now if she wants you.' Two things bothered me about her brief little speech. A lot of things had changed? Like what? Well I certainly hadn't expected Ino and Shikamaru to be together but at least she was off my back. That was something I was sure happy about. But the phrase made him feel something..guilt? These people were once the people I had considered friends and now I wasn't there to know what was happening with any of them. I left and consequently, I wasn't able to fight with them, and protect Konoha, which I had loved as a child._

_And her second statement, if Sakura wants me?.. Did she? She sure didn't seem like it. She hasn't reacted at all like she used to and she even went out on a date. But how could she just forget me so easily? More importantly, did I want her to want me? Why else would I be looking for her? But why would I? I have never cared about anyone before and now this for a girl that I once couldn't stand? It was all too confusing to absorb and in the end I just forced myself again to think that I was just worried about her physical well being._

_There was one more place that I remembered she liked when we were younger. I wasn't sure if she would be there but I had to look somewhere._

_I made my way back. Back to where we had begun as Team 7. Where I would see Naruto grinning like a fool, and Sakura smiling peacefully or sometimes glaring at Naruto. Where we would wait there, as a team, for Kakashi to drag is ass in hours after we had agreed._

_That's where I saw her, just past the bridge, and in the clearing where we had often practiced as a team all those years ago. Her hair was blowing behind her, and there was that one streak of pink in the sky that matched her hair completely because the sun was starting to set. I found it hard to admit but I had seen pretty Sakura and sexy Sakura and now I was seeing the beautiful Sakura…so classically beautiful that for a short while it made me forget how annoyed I was for having to look all over Konoha for her. That was the one moment that I allowed myself to be so unlike who I really was. And then I walked up right behind her._

_"What do you think you're doing?_

_She jumped, clearly not expecting anyone to find her, "How'd you find me?"_

_I shrugged, "Just a hunch I guess."_

_There was an awkward silence. Sse wasn't speaking and what was I supposed to say to a girl who ran away because I kissed her?_

_Finally she sighed, "What do you want?" She tried to wipe away tears before I saw them but she was too slow._

_I let the initial shock of seeing her in this new light fade and let the more asshole version of me come out again."Why couldn't you just be like any normal person and go home? What did you think you were going to accomplish by just running away without letting anyone know where you were?"_

_"I just wanted to get away from everyone for awhile.Why do you always have to talk to me like I'm a child? Why do you always make me feel like I'm still 12?" She sniffed and wiped away more tears before turning around to face me. She stood so close that I wanted to kiss her again but I knew that wouldn't fix anything. The she repeated in a calm and demanding voice "What do you want from me?"_

_"I don't want anything from you! I just wanted to make sure that you hadn't been kidnapped or killed!" Why the hell did she keep asking me that!_

_"No, what do you **want**? Why do you care about everything? About who I went out with and where I go when I leave your house? I'm nothing but the medic who takes care of your wounds so why do you care?"_

_It was my turn to back away…how was I supposed to answer that when I couldn't even admit the answer tomyself. "I don't care! It was curiosity so sue me!" That sounded like a lie to me and I was the one saying it._

_Now that she had started, it seemed like she wouldn't stop. "I don't understand why you would just call me desperate like it meant nothing to you! Were you deliberately trying to hurt me? What did I do to piss you off already!"_

_She stopped and took a deep breath trying to calm herself. And I just looked at her. I couldn't explain my behaviour but I didn't think it would affect her like this. I didn't want to see her like this. I hate crying. I hate seeing **her** cry and she wasn't even crying now. She looked….broken. Her eyes were broken and I hated it all because..what could I do?_

_She spoke again, this time quietly, "What gives you the right to call me desperate? So what if I was? You said it like it was my fault, like it was something I could change when you were the one who left! I was there begging you to stay at the gates remember? I was there pouring myself out to you because I didn't care if you rejected me again, I just wanted you to stay. I truly loved you did you know that? Did you know but still leave? And now you're saying that I'm desperate…well I was desperate. Desperate for you to just be there. Desperate to find another person to make me feel the way I felt for you. Desperate to forget you. So sue me I was just desperate to get you out of my life!"_

_Again, I had nothing to say to her. All of what she said was valid and I couldn't argue about anything. She loved me. Was I aware that she loved me? Probably not. I wasn't aware of much except for revenge back then. And if I were aware, what would I have done? I didn't care about anyone. I always vowed to take revenge on my brother for being a heartless murderer but was I any different? I betrayed the village and most of all I betrayed her without even realizing it just the same way my brother betrayed my family._

_She wanted to forget me that badly and there was no defence that I could give. She would probably be better off forgetting about me, but I'm selfish and I can't let her go._

_While I remained silent, she continued after pausing to hear if I would answer. "I wanted to forget you so badly but in the end you just ended up hurting me again. Why did you kiss me? I don't understand at all! You were the one who left me! Why would you turn around and do something like that. Was it because you thought I was a whore…another girl you could just sleep with and then toss aside?"_

_This time I could answer. Even though it's against everything that I am, I had to take things back. She made me feel bad and she made me want to apologize for everything. Damn her. _

_"No! That's not what I meant. I don't think you're a whore and I was just pissed off and I said something just because I needed to say something back! I don't have answers to any of your questions because I don't know what the hell is going on! I left you I know, and the village and everything I had known to pursue my brother. That was all I could think about. I'm never unsure about anything and yet I have no answers now. Ever since I came back, you made me feel and think about so many things that I couldn't have been bothered with before and I have no idea why. I don't know why I kissed you or why I care about these random things. I'm just as confused as you are."_

_She looked at me and I could tell she was trying to process everything I had said. I didn't want her to cry because of me even if it meant going against myself to tell her something, anything that I did know._

_The sun was setting and I stood there staring at the way the wind blew her soft hair around carelessly behind her. At that moment I was so confused about everything but I was sure about one thing. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I leaned down and kissed her again._

_This time, I wasn't feeling that desperate passion like before; I felt something more than that. I kissed her slowly trying to make her understand something through the kiss because I couldn't explain it in words. She was reluctant at first but she gave in. It was the most peaceful I had felt in years, just feeling her lips against mine. I tightened my arms around her waist and she had her small hands against my face and neck pulling me in as she had done earlier today. Reluctantly, I pulled away and traced her face with my hand, wiping away any stray tears._

_"I have no idea what's going on with me but I want you there. That's all I know." I said and kissed her again. She was utterly intoxicating and it always seemed like I needed more but she stopped me. She pulled away and turned her head to the side._

_I was confused, but I hada bad feeling. I used my hand to turn herface to me._

_She looked at me, "I'm sorry….I can't do this with you." She said softly with new tears in her eyes before she walked around me and back to the village._

_Once again, I stood there staring at the spot she had just been._

_She loved me. Past-tense._

**End Flashback**

Just like that she was gone again. At that point, I thought she would just forgive me for everything. I thought she would run into my arms because I managed to open up to her slightly. But that was clearly not the case.

That was the first time that I had ever apologized or explained myself to anyone, the first time that I had ever tried to share my feelings with anyone and the first time that I had those feelings. She brought out a lot of firsts in me. That was why she was different from all the other girls; she made me **feel** for her.

I had caught her watching the sunset. That was another first, the first time I noticed the way she reminded me of the sunset, just like the one I'm watching now.

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That concludes another chapter. :)

sniff sniff..poor sakura..so torn.

Just as a warning, I'm posting this now, but i night re-edit this chapter later cuz honestly i can't get out of this habit of writing really late and i write much better when i'm totally awake but i don'thave the time..sorry its probably annoying.

so..what did you guys think? I know..sasuke's getting a bit OOC but honestly, he can't be a block of ice when im trying to make him fall for sakura...that just wouldn't work!...besides..i kind of like this new kind of romantic side of sasuke...and the shower sasuke too ;)..lol

anyways..please review!...i'm addicted to them now...i really love hearing from you guys!...and once again thanks to everyone who read this and reviewed or put it on favs or anything else i really appreciate it!

see you later!


	5. Chapter 5: Trying to Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Ok so last chapter was dramatic and this one is even more dramatic. I started writing earlier than i normally do..hooray for me and you...but then it ended up taking twice as long to write this chapter...(A REALLY long time)...i kept getting stuck and lost in the middle

Anyways..Confessions coming up..:D...yay!

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 5**

Even at that point in my life, I had no idea how much she meant to me. Yes, I knew she was one hell of a kisser and yes, I knew that I was attracted to her..but that was it. All I felt for her was attraction and this sense of attachment because she had been the first girl to grab my attention like that. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Maybe if I had known, I would have been able to stay away.

**Flashback**

_After that whole incident, I decided to go against my gut instinct of running after her and I went home. I was more confused then before and I wanted answers but I wasn't an idiot, she definitely did not want to talk to me now. It's not like I even knew how to confront her, she had pushed me away twice now, and there was only so much bashing a man could take on his ego. Anyway, she would have to face me eventually, in three days to be exact._

_So I spent the next few days and nights hardly drinking or eating or sleeping. I couldn't stop replaying every image in my head and repeating every line she had said to me._

_'I'm sorry….I can't do this with you.'…Do what? I said I wanted to be with her so was she saying she didn't want to be with me?_

_'…I can't do this with you.' No, she said she couldn't do this. Why can't she? Was she already with someone? But then why would she go out on a date with some other guy? So what did she mean?_

_That's how I spent the three days before our scheduled appointment, in a cycle of questions and constant questioning of the meanings behind her words. This is why I never bothered with women, why do they have to be so damned confusing? Never in my life have I felt this insecure about where I stood._

_It just wasn't supposed to be this way! I opened up, what more did she want? Whatever she wanted me to do, she sure was pushing it. Did she know that I was Uchiha Sasuke? Because that is the extent of the emotions that an Uchiha expresses._

_When the day of our appointment rolled around, I was stressed and I had had enough of only being able to make up reasons for why she had said what she said. I wanted answers and was more than ready for her to arrive. I showered and got dressed and sat down on one of my couches._

_Silence bombarded me. Well not complete silence, there was the incessant ticking of a clock that I didn't even know was there before. Where was she? Sure, it was only 9 am and she wasn't expected for another three hours but like I said, I was rather frustrated which also translated into impatient._

_I literally sat there for those three hours, watching the ticking clock turn, ten..eleven…twelve……….and then one…..and two. Damn, she sure picked a nice day to be late. I told myself that I wouldn't lose control like I did last time. I wouldn't get up and chase after her; it just wasn't who I was. I was stubborn, that was for sure. I just sat there waiting until finally the clock read 5:47pm. So I guess she's avoiding me. I was pissed off…not that it wasn't expected. Who wouldn't be pissed off after waiting for 8 hours and 47 minutes for a girl, who was supposed to answer all the annoying questions that have been bugging you for THREE DAYS?_

_Ok, truthfully, I thought she was going to come over like she always did except this time, she would apologize for being so crazy these past few days. I thought she would come and say that of course she wanted to be with me and that she had no idea what had gotten into her. I expected her to be grateful that I had told her everything that I did three days ago._

_Well that didn't happen. Not even close and I was fed up with waiting. Perhaps that's why I was even more frustrated than I would normally be. So what did I do? Open my door and slam it shut as I walked briskly to her house._

_I reached her door in a matter of minutes and knocked loudly. I heard some shuffling inside before she came to answer the door. She was dressed in a yellow tank top and pink and yellow plaid pyjama pants with her hair up in a messy sort of way. Once again, I forgot my frustration; she was just too adorable at that moment. Then I saw her face and she looked angry, sad, weary, surprised, and many other things, none of which were happy._

_"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her again….wow…déjà vu._

_"What do you mean?" She asked nonchalantly._

_"What do you mean what do I mean? You were supposed to check up on me 5 hours ago. Don't tell me you forgot!" She really knew how toannoy me._

_"No, I didn't forget." She replied._

_I gaped for a while at her answer. She put me through all that waiting for no apparent reason!_

_"Then why the hell didn't you come?" I asked angrily._

_"Well, it's like you said, it's pointless."_

_Was it just me or was there a major role reversal here? Suddenly she was the one acting cold and only replying in three syllable answers and I was the one freaking out. Things had certainly taken a turn for the worse and there was definitely something wrong with me. But that wasn't the point right now._

_"So did the town finally stop asking you to spy on me?"_

_"No."_

_"No?" I asked, my anger reaching a boiling point_

_"No." she stated simply._

_"What the hell do you mean!"_

_"No, They still don't trust you completely, but you're pretty much healed and you like you said, you don't need a babysitter."_

_"You can't just stop coming! It doesn't make any sense, how can you if the Hokage still wants someone to look after me?"_

_"I'll just write my reports to her like I always do, saying you're fine and you haven't been showing any suspicious behaviour."_

_"So you're just going to lie?"_

_"Why does it matter to you? Isn't this what you wanted before? Now you've got what you want so can you go now? I have other stuff to do."_

_She moved to shut the door on me but I was faster than that. I stuck my foot in the doorway just before it closed. "Wait, why all of the sudden are you going to stop? I mean if you wanted to before, you could have just stopped coming then."_

_"It didn't matter before but now I'm getting busy."_

_"That's bulshit." I pushed my way through her door and let myself into her house._

_"Whatever. Can you get out of my house, I have other stuff to do!"_

_"No, you and I both know you're trying to avoid me and I just want to know why."_

_"I'm not avoiding you!"_

_"Really? Then why couldn't you just stop by and tell me you were going to stop the check ups?"_

_"I was busy!"_

_"Haven't you learned that you're not a very good liar? Just tell me why you ran away then." I stepped up to her giving her, letting my anger flare a bit._

_"I….I…."_

_I finally had the upper hand again. And I wasn't going to let her get away._

_"Why can't you be with me?"_

_"I…..because I just can't"_

_She was like a deer caught in headlights and suddenly she had tears in her eyes. Her mood had changed so suddenly, that I didn't know how to continue getting my answers._

_"Sakura, just tell me…I….I'm sorry that I got angry at you…I meant what I said before..I want you to be with me."_

_She shook her head and wiped away her tears "No, I can't"_

_Those words again, the ones that always frustrated and confused me to no end. "What does that **mean**? Why can't you?"_

_"I….you….I-I don't want you anymore!"_

_"Why not?"_

_"Can't you just accept the fact that I've moved on!"_

_"No, because I don't believe that's true"_

_"Well it is!"_

_"Then why would you let me kiss you? I know you liked it just as much as I did. Look, stop denying everything I say and just give me one good reason as to why you can't or don't want to be with me!"_

_I knew that I had caught her again. She couldn't look at me so she looked at the ground and when she spoke I could tell she was on verge of crying again._

_"I…I just can't be h-hurt ...again."_

_That was definitely a stab in the gut, a stab that I deserved and I feltan undescribeablepain somewhere in my chest. It rapidly started to seem very arrogant of me to expect her to welcome me with open arms. I did ignore her, reject her, make fun of her, and betray her. If I were her, I wouldn't even be talking to me…but like I said before, I'm selfish. I wanted her and I would do whatever it took to get her even if it meant swallowing my pride._

_"Sakura, I'm sorry for everything I did and for how I treated you. I know I deserve that but I can't let you go."_

_"It doesn't matter if you're sorry, it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be with you."_

_"I didn't leave because I wanted to hurt you! I had my reasons for leaving that had nothing to do with you! I'm sorry if they hurt you but I don't know what else I have to do."_

_"Nothing. There's nothing for you to do. No matter what your reason for leaving, you left. Not only did you leave me but you left Konoha, and Naruto and Kakashi. Did you think about anyone besides yourself when you left? I have never seen anyone turn their back on their friends so easily. I can't let myself get involved with someone like that. Even you know that I would just be setting myself up." She said in a sad, defeated manner._

_Guilt. Again the same guilt trying to take me over and suffocate me. I never used to have this feeling until she came back into my life. She was troublesome but I had to have her."I know everything you're saying is true. I know that I deserve everything you throw at me. I'm truly sorry. Please …..can we just start over? I won't hurt you again."_

_She was crying now. "Please don't ask me that."_

_"Why?"_

_"I know you're sorry and I don't want to hurt you but I don't want this anymore. I just never want to be hurt like I was the day you left. I wish I could trust you, I really do. But no matter how much I try, I can't forget the pain. As much as I would like to deny it, I'm still hurting from all those years ago." Tears ran freely down her pretty face._

_I have to convince her. She doesn't know the guilt that creeps up on me every night that I push away every morning. I betrayed so many people and I never expected to feel this. I was desperate; I knew I was going to lose her soon if I hadn't already. I didn't care about my pride or my ego or anything else. I had to convince her. "Sakura..please…" I sounded pathetic but I didn't care._

_"No, Sasuke…please just go home..please" Tears continued to slip down her face._

_"Sakura, I swear to you I won't hurt you. I swear. I don't want to hurt you."_

_Through her tears she said, "How can I ever be sure that that's true? You might mean that now, but like you said..you didn't mean to hurt me before but you still did..what if that happens again?"_

_"It won't!"_

_She looked up at me and said sadly, "How can you promise me that? How are you so sure?"_

_"You..you've never meant so much to me." I said looking straight into her eyes. I knew this was critical. I knew I couldn't let something stupid like my superiority complex get in the way. No matter how confused or frustrated or insane she made me, I still wanted her, which meant I had to tell her things that I couldn't even admit to myself._

_Her eyes told me that she was fighting with herself. I knew that internally, she didn't trust herself anymore although she seemed so adamant to push me away on the exterior._

_"Sakura, I know it's hard for you to trust me and I wish I could fix the past so that you didn't have to get hurt but I can't. But that doesn't mean that I can't change now. And as much as you deny it, I know you want to be with me too."_

_Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because she went from sad to angry very quickly._

_"What do you know about what I want? Obviously nothing, because I've been trying to tell you that I don't want you anymore but you seem to think that by staying here, I'll change my mind. Just LEAVE!"_

_"No! Every time you get stuck in a situation you don't want to be in, you run away. It won't work with me so deal with it."_

_"I'm not running away. I've told you so many times that it's getting ridiculous. I – Don't –Want – To – Be – With – You!"_

_He didn't want to resort to this but she left him no choice. "Then tell me that you don't love me."_

_In truth, he didn't know her answer but he figured that if she said she didn't love him he could change her mind or maybe he might get lucky and forget about her because of her obvious lack of affection. It would probably be the former though._

_She was shocked to hear his demand. Her anger dissipated and just as abruptly as before, her mood switched back from angry to sad. "please.." She begged in the smallest voice he had ever heard from her. "please…just leave"_

_"I will if you tell me that you don't love me."_

_"It doesn't matter…just leave…"_

_"It does matter –"_

_"No, because love is nothing without trust." She said sadly._

_"What if I told you that I might be in love with you?" I whispered_

_"I would tell you to stop lying." She whispered back._

_"But it's not a –"_

_"Enough! Stop! Just stop." She had had enough. She didn't want to hear anymore so she pushed me out of her house. "You've hurt me enough. Please just let me live one day without thinking about you…please..." And then she shut and locked the door._

_"Sakura I love you!" I yelled through her door._

_It had started to rain while we were arguing and I was now drenched but I couldn't feel anything_

**End Flashback**

Love. Has anyone figured out what it is? What did it mean? Did I even know when I said that?… no, probably not. But I said it because whatever I felt for her, all that weak desire and desperation, all those feelings that made me beg and plead and explain myself to her had to be caused by something. The only explanation I had was that it was love. People always told me that it was a foolish thing to love but no one ever mentioned that it crept up on you like a silent killer.

But it was already too late to save me. I had confessed to the one thing that I thought I would never have the inconvenience to experience. The confusing part was that I didn't mind experiencing it; the painful part was not having her return my confession. No matter what, she will always be recognized for the achievement of drawing out an emotion that was supposed to be impossible to draw out of wicked people.

What would my life be like now if on that day when she didn't show up I decided to go to sleep instead of go to her house?

Maybe if I had stayed away, I wouldn't have to wait here day and night like a pathetic little fool.

Love. If it weren't for that god-forsaken thing I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have experienced all the things in my life up until now that made me human. I wouldn't have experience true happiness…. nor true pain.

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hello again! 

haha..sasuke's in love!...oh sakura how could you deny such a hot man is beyond me!..lol..jks

Anyways...i'm over 10 000 words!...wow!...i can't believe i've actually written that much! And i'm loving your support!..thank you all SO much!

Wolfs:...i laughed when you said you were confused because sasuke feels exactly the same way..but now, both of you get it..lol.. :P

Sakura5584: i will never be tired of your two thumbs..lol...i love them..feel free to keep using them. :)

Setsuna-chan09: of course i'm gonna continue!...so please keepreading and thanks

Heartless Ghost: Now you see that it's all part of the the master plan...lol...answering your questions sooner would have given away this chapter...but i hope you like this one too and that it explains things for you.

sasukeluva:thanks for the suggestion..i hope sakura's as rejecting as you wanted her to be...lol...you have an evil mind...just like me...and sasuke will suffer..don't worry..:P

To everyone else:you guys have no idea how motivating your reviews are...i love all of your comments and i'm really happy that you like my fic :)

And now...the semi-bad news...:(...exam time is rolling around and my schedule is so incredibly tight that i'll be lucky to not fail..:S...i'll probably be able to squeeze in one chapter next week...but imnot guaranteeing anything because thats almost right before exams...but don't worry.luckily, if i don't write it'll only be forone friday...but maybe if youguys review enough, i'llget it in..(hint hint :P)

great...now im a review whore...lol..jks

see you later!

PS..if u haven't noticed..i don't have a name for this chapter..and i can't think of one..if you want to submit a suggestion please feel free to as a review or if u don't think that i need to have chapter titles u can suggest that too (seeing as how i'm pretty bad at the title stuff). and if u have any questions...please feel free to ask..and i'll answer them if i can:)


	6. Chapter 6: To Be Human

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Ok so this chapter is basically all about Sasuke's feelings and thoughts...like most of the story but now its about what he sai last chapter..:)

I seem to be going through some writer's block and it took me VERY long to write this but i hope you guys like it.

anyways..on with the story..Enjoy!

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**Chapter 6: To Be Human**

It was dark again. I'm guessing late into the night but I lost track of the hours long ago. Time for me now consisted only of dusk and dawn. The last time I lost all sense of time was before my return to Konoha. Time didn't matter where I was. Blood mattered, death mattered, but not time. When I first retuned to Konoha, I was inhuman like that,but that all changed thanks to her.

**Flashback**

I walked all the way home in the pouring rain. I wasn't cold and I didn't feel the wetness that is usually associated with when one gets rained on. I just walked straight into my room lied down on my bed without even bothering to pull the covers over myself.

If I was intending to sleep, fat chance! I stared at my ceiling and if my eyes could burn holes into things, it would blast right through the roof.

I love her. I love her? What did I even know about love? It was such a foolish thing to say when I couldn't possibly love her. I have known her for so long and never once did I have any feelings for her that weren't strictly platonic and I had been the one pushing her away for years. She was right, I did leave her. It was my choice to leave and if I left, wasn't it because I didn't care enough for her?

But now, I said I loved her. What would make me say it? I don't love. Uchiha's don't love. Did they? I don't remember my parents too much anymore; did they love each other? Did they love me? My brother certainly didn't love and that is something I am sure of. Maybe I had turned out more like him that I would have wanted

My life before returning was simple, train and kill or get killed. Now life is a mix of unanswerable questions and unexplainable feelings.

Why did everything have to be so fucking confusing? Before, Sakura was the one confusing me and now, I'm confusing myself. I don't understand why I told her that I loved her. I'm not even sure of that.

I couldn't lie still in my bed. It was now three in the morning but I needed something to do. I didn't want to think about anything related to that… event..right now. I got out of bed and decided to do some training. That was how I dealt with myself. When I was frustrated, I liked to beat the crap out of something.

When I reached the training field, I got right into fist fighting with different targets. I totally ignored all weapons. I was trying to clear my thoughts but I was failing. With every target I would once again relive that moment when I told her that I loved her and I would be so frustrated that I would break it into a million pieces.

I trained for nearly 3 hours before I was utterly exhausted. The sun was rising and I flopped onto the ground in the middle of the field. Lying down and staring at the sky made me feel calm.

I love her. What if it was true? How would someone define love? I wanted to kiss her and I wanted her to be around me constantly. That was ironic considering that when she did cling to me, I wanted her to get the hell away and now that she seemed to not want me anymore I **wanted** her to cling to me. Did that constitute love? I wanted to protect her at any cost. Was that considered love? I hated her with other men and she made me feel jealousy, which I had previously never even known. Did that mean love?

Sakura. Pink hair and sea foam green eyes. It sounds so fruitful and disgusting but on her, it was beautiful. So smart and yet sometimes ditzy. Weak and strong. Sometimes adorable and other times fiery. She annoyed me, made me want to rip out my own hair, was so cheerful it made me want to vomit…but I wanted her. Everything that had to do with her was happy and colourful and everything to do with me was pain and dark and brooding.

Everything concerning her was so contradictory. Was that love?

I love her. Maybe it was true. She was beautiful and I wasn't blind. She was intelligent, that was something I noticed in her even when we were younger. She is such a good person, and it used to disgust me. She is so devoting to everyone around her and she is often self-depriving. It's why I used to think she was weak. I didn't understand why someone would care more about others than themselves. I used to think it was a weakness. But now, I wanted to be the one to help her more than myself.

I do love her. As utterly contradicting and ironic and impossible it all seems.. it was true. Even if I didn't want to admit it, and even if I thought I was a world hating, moody, asshole who wouldn't care about anyone but myself, I was….in love with her.

It was now well into the morning and now that I had come to terms with myself, I didn't know what to do with myself. So I got up and went home.

When I got home, I went straight for the shower. As the water poured down in a soothing rhythm, I felt oddly at peace because I now kind of understood myself and my feelings for her.

Sakura has been the only girl and woman that was truly in my life. She was a constant and I didn't realize how much I needed that constant until I came back. While I was gone, it was fine because I knew she was back home waiting, or at least I was able to believe that. When I came back, however, and she was no longer waiting for me as I had expected, it was the first time that I was truly without her. In my life, she had been the only one who had fussed over me and cared about my well-being since my mother died. If I were to love anyone, it would only have been her anyway. She gave me everything I lost and I never realized it. I pushed her away and denied her everything she needed. Now, I realize what I did to her and her reasons for pushing me away.

I turned off the shower and stepped out. I ran a wet hand through my wet hair. I screwed up. I would have never admitted that 4 months ago but things were very different now. I needed a way to fix things but I couldn't approach her again. She made it loud and clear that she wanted to forget me and I couldn't even hate her for it.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like crap. I haven't bothered to shave or do any thing else to my appearance except shower. I looked like a pathetic piece of crap.

I put some pants on and went to sit down on my couch again. Although I understood things I still had the problem that I still did not have what I wanted. In a way, I felt defeated. Maybe I shouldn't try to make her feel for me again. She was right; I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't hurt her again. No matter how much I loved her, I could never protect her from everything, especially the pain that I might cause.

I lay my head back and closed my eyes. All of the things that I would have to do if I was her boyfriend ran through my head and once again I felt insecure. Surely, I wouldn't be able to be everything that she expected of me. But she wasn't like that, my insecurities were my own. She did deserve more than me and that's what stopped me from trying to convince her to love me.

None of this changed the fact that I wanted her to be here with me. I laughed bitterly at myself. I set this up for myself because a few months ago, I would have rather eaten worms than admit what I just did. In the end, that's what screwed me; my inability to except human feelings and human behaviour.

I love her. I love Sakura.

A knock sounded on my door, but I chose to ignore it. I didn't really care about anyone else at that point. Whoever it was, whatever they had to say, it wasn't important.

The knocks became more persistent and I became more irritated. I had better things to think about than the asshole at my door.

They however, wouldn't stop knocking. I swore under my breath and went to go yell at the dumb ass.

"What –"

A blur of pink and green and then someone's lips were on mine. Soft luscious lips that seemed so familiar.

The kiss was so filled with desperation. She kissed me with so much need that the only thing I could do was kiss her back with equal fervour. We kissed until we couldn't breathe and then we pulled away, still holding each other.

"Sakura…" I breathed out. I was completely shocked that she would be here let alone kiss me.

"I hate you," She whispered. " I hate you so much"

She pulled me into a tight hug burying her head in my shoulder. I pulled her face up to look at me. She had been crying, I could tell.

I wiped away her tears softly "I love you too." I kissed her again but this time I tried to express everything that I felt, but most of all, I tried to convey just how much I loved her. This time, she was the one to kiss me back with equal fervour.

**End Flashback**

Love. I figured out what it was. To me, love meant **her**. It meant everything that was confusion and contradiction.

Not only did she allow me to understand love, she brought me to understand life. Life was not about pain and suffering and it wasn't about death either. It wasn't about putting yourself ahead of everyone else. Most of all, life was not straightforward and not always clear. That was what made it liveable.

That day and that kiss meant everything that we felt for each other. That kiss was angry, passionate, full of concern, desperation, lust, sadness, happiness, and most of all love. It was everything that we were and it was also everything that life was.

Although at that point, she didn't say it, I knew that she loved me and all of those insecurities went out the door. I knew that no matter what happened or where I was or what I was doing, I would protect her. I would put her first and somehow, if someone that I loved so much was hurt or in danger I would be able to feel it and help her. It sounded crazy but I believed it… I know better now.

She made me human and it was as simple as that.

* * *

Hello everyone!

I want to start of by saying that i am SOOOOOO VERY VERY sorry! I know i said i would post sooner but honestly i got sick the night before my last exam which was hell because i was trying to study and today was just the first day after exams that i could even get out of bed..:S so i'm very sorry for not writing sooner

Also..i'm done exams!..yay!..even though i came out of it with a killer fever, i was still very relieved.

There was such a huge response to my last chapter that i felt especially guilty..:s..but thank you all SO much. i loved every single review.

Also, i have decided to name the last chapter "Trying to Say Goodbye" it was from Nekio-chan's suggestion so thanks for that (and yes karma is a bitch..lol) and for everyone else who gave their suggestions they really helped!

To RoseWaters: u are so mean..i love it but i would never make her go out with Neji...i don't like them together:P

unyield-wish 813: i thought u were hilarious thanks for the review i really enjoyed seeing what u thought :)

Setsuna-chan09: i totally agree and thanks

nebulaX: the verge of tears comment made me super happy..that was exactly what i was going for thanks!

dannyXsam-forever: yeah i realized that too when i was reading over it. i'm sorry if it confused you...i'll try not to do that in the future..thanks im glad u like it.:)

critter141151: haha so true..thanks

sasusaku0386: haha..thanks i hope i pass too

Sekiryu: Thanks and yeah i know..angsty is what i was going for...gets more angsty so prepare urself..lolumm im kind of confused about what ur asking..sorry..maybe you could rephrase it and i would be happy to answer! 

To all the reviews.. i honestly can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing...i got a lot of reviews for the last chapter and it was so motivational for me to just get through my exams and write another chapter!

anyways..i will definitely see you soon this time!

bye!


	7. Chapter 7: Together Forever

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...is this really necessary for EVERY chapter?..I highly doubt that from one week to the next i will suddenly become the owner of Naruto..(well one can dream..)

OK so...they're together!...this was a fun chapter to write because including this, the next few chapters will be very fluffy! They do have to have a very good relationship! hope u like it!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 7: Together... Forever**

When I think back to before that momentous kiss that marked the first time that our timing for each other was perfect, I realized that it was truly amazing that we ever did get together. For one, why she ever decided that she would trust me again was beyond me at that point. But I was grateful, beyond grateful, because I had a chance to prove to her, if not anyone else, that I was a better person than that piece of shit that shares my name. Most of all, I knew that I loved her and for someone to make me, of all people, fall in love so effortlessly.. well I knew that there would be no one else like her.

**Flashback**

_It was pretty obvious that I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. This time, it wasn't because of frustration or jealousy or anger. It was sickening actually because for one, I couldn't sleep because I was too..**happy**. Well it **would have** been if it didn't involve her or me. But I just didn't give a damn because I had never been so carefree in my entire life. Suddenly, I wasn't thinking about my brother or the horrible things I had seen and felt with Orochimaru. I was too busy thinking about a certain pink haired, green-eyed medic and I must admit, it felt good._

_In the morning, I got up having had maybe an hour of sleep in total, and went to shower. I was happier than I ever remember being. Needless to say, I was still thinking about what had happened the day before._

_"Sasuke? Sasuke are you ho – " the words died in her mouth as she looked at me…more like stared at me._

_I had just finished putting a pair of baggy black sweat pants on when I heard someone calling and I guessed that she decided to let herself in, as always…and I was right._

_I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorway, smirking at her for a while._

_"Like what you see?" I questioned, rather cockily._

_She cleared her throat, "I – I" but when she saw my face, she continued more confidently, "I've seen better." It was her turn to smirk at me._

_I knew it was a trap but I fell for it anyway. "What! Who have you seen topless?"_

_"Plenty of guys" she said with a giggle._

_"What!" I was outraged._

_She leaned up real close to my face, "What? Is the great Uchiha jealous?"_

_She was beautiful and I would have kissed her right then and there but I let my pride get the best of me._

_"Hn… yeah right" I said turning my head away._

_She giggled again and surprised me twice in two days. She turned my head to face her and she kissed me softly, leaning into me. I returned the kiss eagerly, after I got over the initial shock and pulled her warm body closer to mine, savouring the feeling. What would anyone expect? I was still topless and starting to feel kind of cold. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip and she moaned into me, which involuntarily caused me to smirk. But then she shocked me yet again and pulled away._

_She gave me a small smile, "I was just joking by the way,….you're probably second best." She said mischievously._

_"What!" I was angry again and she ran away squealing, laughing, and running around my house._

_Even though I always knew Sakura was a cheerful person I don't think I've ever seen her so carefree and loose around me. She was like a little child the way she ran in circles around my couch but she was also more than that because she was so graceful even though she was egging me on._

_And I took the bait. I ran after her wanting to get to the bottom of it all. I thought it would be easy to catch her, since it was my house, and I knew exactly how to manoeuvre around every corner and every piece of furniture …but I was wrong. She put up quite a chase and half way through, I realized what I was doing and how foolish I probably looked… but somehow I didn't care about that._

_After a few more minutes, I finally was able to sneak up behind her and grab her around the waist. She squealed again as I effortlessly threw her over my shoulder. Her squeals turned into screams and she began to pound against my back with her small but powerful fists._

_"Sasuke! Put me down!"_

_I laughed, "Not until you tell me who you've seen topless." I said triumphantly._

_"No! Sasuke, put me down please!"_

_"I'm afraid I'm a little deaf right now Sakura."_

_"Sasuke!"_

_"I'll put you down when you tell me."_

_"Ok Ok! I will! Just put me down!"_

_"Sakura, I'm not an idiot, now out with the name."_

_"It was…Neji."_

_I nearly dropped her from shock. I thought she was going to say she was joking or that it was Naruto, but Neji!_

_"Sasuke? Put me down!..or at least..say something."_

_"Why did you see Neji topless?" I demanded._

_"It was by accident! I was supposed to meet Naruto to train, but Neji was there training by himself!"_

_"Why was he topless!"_

_"It was hot outside? I don't know! Please put me down!"_

_"What a dumbass! And **I'm** second best to **that**?"_

_"Uhh…no?…I mean NO!"_

_I walked over to my bed and dumped her on it. I then proceeded to straddle her waist and pin her down leaning dangerously forward._

_"What does that mean?" I said threateningly._

_She leaned up towards me. "I chose **you** remember?"_

_That seemed like a good enough answer so I closed the gap between us and kissed her deeply starting where we last left off. This time I left no room for objections or goofing off and pushed my tongue into her mouth and she allowed it, getting into an all out battle of the tongues. I moved my hands from her wrists to tangle my fingers with hers. She pushed up on my body with hers and moaned into the kiss again and I felt all the telltale signs of desire creeping up on me. It felt so good that I never wanted to leave where I was at that moment but I knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't' be able to control myself later. It's not that I didn't want that with her but I didn't want her to feel like that's **all **I wanted, I still wanted to prove myself to her, so I pulled away. She moaned in frustration and looked up at me with questioning eyes._

_"What's wrong?" she asked in a breathy, sexy voice, pushing her body against mine again._

_I buried my face into her hair, which had fanned itself out around her. "Nothing at all" I whispered into her ear and felt her shiver against my body. Shit! If I didn't move right now I would definitely be screwed…in a bad way._

_I groaned and untangled myself from her body. As I stood up from the bed, I looked at her and she was pouting at me. I smiled and rolled my eyes at her before going over to my dresser to get a shirt. I could feel her eyes on me and while I was pulling something clean out to wear, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist._

_Sakura pressed the side of her soft face into my back and whispered, "You're definitely number one."_

_I couldn't help but smirk again. I pulled on my shirt before turning around and kissing her again. I was careful not to get too wrapped up with her again; I knew that I was already treading on thin ice where my self-control was concerned. It was definitely a difficult task; now that she actually wanted me, I just couldn't get away from her._

_When I finally managed to pull away from her I said, "So, why did you decide to come over today?"_

_"Did you forget already? Today is our scheduled appointment. Geez Sasuke, seems like both your memory and you hearing are fading." She teased._

_"Haha..very funny. You know, I'm kind of hurt that the only reason why you're hear is to spy on me again."_

_She laughed, "Well we could always….do something afterwards…if you want to." She said shyly._

_It was definitely still a new feeling that one of us didn't feel some sort of resentment towards the other. It was like we almost didn't know what to do with each other. Almost._

_I leaned in and kissed her again. God, when did I suddenly turn into such a sappy guy?_

_While I was kissing her, her hands snuck up and started to pull my shirt off of me._

_"Sakura!"…I was surprised by her bold moves, that was all._

_She giggled, "What?" She feigned innocence, "I need to check your wounds."_

_I rolled my eyes again, "You could try being a little more subtle you know?"_

_"Ok ok, well I'm done now." She said abruptly._

_I raised my eyebrow at her, "That was fast. That's what you came over for?"_

_"Heh heh, maybe."_

_It was my turn to laugh. "So what exactly did you want to do?"_

_"Have you ever been on a picnic?"_

_"No, I don't think I have."_

_"Great! Well, today is the perfect day to start!" And she walked out of my room and into the kitchen where she bent down and picked up a picnic basket that was hidden behind my counter._

_"That was awfully convenient." I said. She was already at my front door pulling on my hand eagerly._

_"Come on, let's go!"_

_I paused and took the basket from her, which was surprisingly heavy, and took her hand again. After all, I did have manners._

_She led me the whole way. At first I had no idea where we were going but when I saw the bridge come into view, I realized that she was taking me back to the clearing where she had left me a few days ago. She continued to pull my hand until we were off near the edge of the clearing where there was a large tree in full bloom for shade._

_"Here?" I asked._

_"Yeah..What? Do you not like it?" She asked timidly. It was so unlike her normal personality but we were both acting differently now, must be nerves._

_"No, it's great. Brings back old memories."_

_"Yeah, I love it here."_

_I set down the basket and pulled out the blanket and spread it out over the grass. She sat down and motioned for me to sit next to her._

_She pulled out the food, and we ate it while talking peacefully about random things. She told me about her job and patients and I realized that I knew everything about her and her personality and things like that but I knew nothing about what she did or what her life was like. It gave me another stab of guilt to realize that that was my fault for leaving._

_Time passed by rather quickly and soon the sun was setting. I was sitting with my back propped up against the tree and she was lying down with her head rested on my lap, staring at the sun._

_After a while, she looked up at me and said, "What's wrong?"_

_I looked down at her and said, "Nothing, why?"_

_"You've been really quiet. Well you usually are really quiet…but it just seems like there's something wrong."_

_I shook my head, "Nothing…"_

_We settled back into the peaceful silence we were in before but I couldn't help myself. It had been nagging at me from the moment the guilt washed over me again._

_"Why…" It was hard for me to say it. I cleared my throat and tried again, "Why..Why did you change your mind?"_

_She stayed silent for what seemed like eternity before saying, "I could never live without you."_

_"Even though I…Even though I was such an asshole?"_

_I didn't want to continue because a part of me was still scared that she would realize that she had made a mistake and then she would leave me again. But I knew that if I didn't continue, I would always be wondering if she truly wanted this._

_She sat up and looked at me for a long time. She reached over and touched my face with her delicate fingers and said, "It doesn't matter anymore. This is what I want. You are what I want for the rest of my life. Some mistakes you **and **I have made before are insignificant when compared to an entire life time."_

_She smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me for the hundredth time that day, but who was complaining? The kiss was soft and beautiful just like her. She pulled away and rested her head on my shoulder._

_After a few more minutes, without lifting her head from my shoulder, she asked softly, "So…what exactly are we?"_

_It was my turn to stay silent for a long time._

_"Sasuke?" She asked nervously._

_I smiled, "I guess you're my girlfriend."_

**End Flashback**

It was as simple as that, but once again, I felt completely at peace with my life and myself. Gone was the guilt that had come back briefly. She had the ability to make me forget all of life's problems. She was my escape from reality.

It didn't matter how many times I rejected her or how many times she rejected me, we were together now because at some point, I was lucky enough for her to let me back in.

I will never let her go, no matter what separates us...

* * *

Hey!

See! I kept my promise and updated within one week! Anyway..this chapter was definitely different from the rest...well i think so because i didn't have to write anything too depressing. and like i said before, it will probably stay that way for the next few chapters. Also, i think im gonna include one or two scenes (or more) that will require the rating to go up. If you don't want to read that stuff tho, don't worry because i will find some way of warning you right before it all happens or post two versions of the same chapter...not sure yet..but as of now, it's in my plans.

OK time to reply to my fantastic reveiwers!

sakura5584: lol.. thanks I love it! (thanks for always reviewing by the way, I really appreciate it)

xboogeringxsnotx : haha…ur enthusiasm kills me (that's a good thing..heh heh) :) ..I love sasu/saku too!…im so glad you liked it. (I also wanted to thank you for always giving me ur feedback!)

sasuke uchiha 6: Sorry!…lol..i know the feeling and hopefully it won't happen again…but thanks a lot..i'm happy that u thought it was worth the wait:)

dancingwithinbrokendreams: thanks…lol….ur insane..in a good way..:P…where'd u get the oreos from?..lol…thanks for the review..loved it! (of course I'm gonna continue..its not done yet!)

wolfs: Thanks!..i was really happy to be able to finally get them together..i hope u keep reading!

nebulaX: definitely not the end! i think u will definitely be able to tell when the end is...anyway...yes exactly and i kind of used that idea in this chapter so thanks for that and don't worry, there will definitely be more for you to read! thanks!

Tsumii: thanks so much!..i'm glad to hear it wasn't too cheesy which was one of my concerns. And yeah, sorry about that...i didn't die..but i did feel like dying..exams were rough..but i got my results and i actually did ok!..I hope u did well too..:)..thanks for R and R-ing

sasusaku0386: thanks a lot..hope u keep on reading!

Heartless Ghost: Thanks! and I hope this chapter answered your question ( if not, let me know...and i'll either write some more in or anser ur question personally) (oh and thank you as well for ur constant reviewing, i love hearing from you!)

So..as you can see..i have become a lot more organized and was able to reply to everyone's reviews...thanks a lot again for reviewing.

Well you know the drill!..Let me know what you thought of this chapter...even what you wanna see and i'll try and see if it fits in anywhere. And as always, i'm open for any suggestions, comments, and questions!

See you in a week! (maybe a little later because i think i might not be home but only for that one day but i PROMISE to get it out within the next weekend)

P.S. Happy Canada Day!


	8. Chapter 8: Evil Girlfriend

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Hey guys...this chapter adds a little humour and more fluff..yay...i needed to lighten things up a little first..so hope you like it!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 8: Evil Girlfriend**

I guess what happened that day could be called our first date. Whatever it's called, it was awkward but it wasn't the generic cheesy movie and dinner, which we did many times later. It wasn't perfectly planned out and graceful but it was just like our first kiss in a way because it was so strange that it was uniquely ours. The months following that one date were also….uniquely our own. We're both strong willed…stubborn people so trying to please each other was a difficult task sometimes.

**Flashback**

_It had been exactly a month from the day she took me on my first picnic and it had become our weekly routine to go up there. Usually, we wouldn't do much while we were there, it was just a place for us to be together thinking, looking up at the sky, or talk quietly about any random thing._

_An entire month had passed since we started this whole….relationship.. I guess it was called that. A month was a long time in my books, I guess Sakura was right when she made fun of my dating habits that time when we were still mad at each other. But the month that passed didn't seem long; it actually passed by really quickly. It actually was one of the best months of my life; I was happier, less worried, less guilty, than I had ever been, and less likely to beat someone up because they annoyed me. But just because I have been happier, does not mean that I didn't have my share of annoyances… in the form of arguments with Sakura. Sometimes, it was just difficult to let her win **everything**, times like right now._

_"Sasuke you know I don't look good in orange!"_

_She was talking about a dress I bought for her for the whole one-month anniversary thing. I thought it was the decent boyfriend-ish thing to do. I may be a complete ass but I wasn't ignorant about girls and I knew they liked when guys did this stuff._

_I stayed silent, the last thing I needed to do was get angry at her._

_"Orange! Honestly Sasuke, have you seen my hair?..It's pink! Pink! Orange! And Pink!"_

_"…" She wasn't making any sense to me. Why was she just yelling out random colours? It was kind of alarming. Was I supposed to understand this?_

_"I can't wear orange!"_

_I let out a sigh. Well, she hasn't really gotten anywhere with what she's trying to say._

_"Pink! And Orange! What were you thinking Sasuke?"_

_Breathe. Breathe. I kept telling myself that…..WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT!….Breathe. Breathe. Everything will fine._

_I cleared my throat, "What's wrong Sakura?"_

_"Orange and pink!"_

_BREATHE. Just BREATHE! "Sakura, I don't understand."_

_Her voice became deadly, "Sa-su-ke, I can't wear orange."_

_Ok, now I was just a bit scared, "A-And why exactly is that?"_

_"Because, **dear**, I have pink hair."_

_"Yes, and its beautiful pink hair but what does that have to do with wearing orange?"_

_"DO PINK AND ORANGE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER TO YOU!"_

_My first instinct was to step away from the scary screaming girlfriend but then I was smart enough to realize that that would have made it worse. Then I realized that what she said was absolutely ridiculous. Of course pink and orange look good together!_

_"The dress goes perfectly well with you, that's why I bought it."_

_"Do you **want **meto look like Naruto!"_

_A picture of myself kissing a woman who looks like Naruto with longer hair flashed through my head and I shuddered. I would have rather faced Orochimaru again than go through that._

_"No! but the dress looks good on you" I tried to say it playfully and I walked over and tried to kiss her – She slapped me across the face._

_What the hell? Didn't I just compliment her? Didn't girls want to be complimented? Actually, what have I don't wrong? I remembered our one-month anniversary, which most guys can't do, and I bought her a dress! It took me a damn long time picking out that dress. I had to go to the mall! The mall!.. Uchiha Sasuke does NOT go to the mall. And Uchiha Sasuke does NOT buy dresses. I hate this stupid stuff. Who the hell decided that one-month anniversaries were necessary and even a good idea?_

_While I was considering all my bad fortunes, I didn't realize that Sakura and been yelling at me the entire time._

_"—so don't you dare try to touch me! You just want me to look hideous, that's why you bought me an orange dress in the first place!"_

_"What are you talking about? Why would I want you to look hideous? The dress looks good on you and that's what I think!"_

_"…" Sakura didn't say anything._

_Uh oh…I stepped out of line. Damage control time. "Look, if you don't want it in orange, I could always go and get a different colour and –"_

_Was is just me or was someone sniffling?_

_"Oh Sasuke!" And then she was on top of me hugging me until I couldn't breathe._

_"Sasuke! I'm so sorry."_

_Ok, now I really didn't know what's going on. Did Sakura have some sort of multiple personalities disorder that she didn't tell me about? I wanted to ask her what was happening but she was about to cry so I just tried my best to stop that first._

_"Sorry? Why are you sorry?"_

_"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be such a bitch." She said while burying her face into my neck and I could just tell the tears were welling up in her eyes. I panicked._

_"Bitch? You haven't been a bitch at all! It's fine, I'll just go buy another dress!"_

_Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because she just started wailing._

_"Oh Sasuke! You're such a good boyfriend. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

_I needed to get to the bottom of this; I needed to know what was wrong with her because although she could be moody, she was never this moody._

_"Sakura. Hey Sakura, what's wrong?"_

_She sniffled, "Nothings wrong. Why would you think something was wrong?"_

_Uh oh "Um..nothing. I just thought that maybe something was bothering you."_

_"It's nothing."..Phew!_

_"Well, I..I – It's just um…no nothing."_

_Did I really want to know? No. Unfortunately, the good boyfriend instincts had to kick in again._

_"What is it? You can tell me."_

_"It's..it's embarrassing." She blushed and it was pretty cute but now I was curious._

_"What is it?"_

_"I ..well…it's a girl thing."_

_I was definitely puzzled. What could she possibly mean by that and how hard was it to get her to tell me her problem? What happened to all that trust eachoth -- oh…OH!_

_I got it now… I was shocked but I wasn't an immature kid. Was that honestly all that was bugging her? I could deal with those things in a mature way._

_She was looking up at my to see if I understood._

_"Sasuke?"_

_"Hey, it's ok, I understand."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah, really."_

_"That's such a relief! I'm so sorry about everything Sasuke. It's just that I feel more stressed than usual and I've been having these horrible cramps."_

_I smirked at her and put my arm around her waist. I then proceeded to massage her side lightly._

_"Does that feel better?" I whispered into her ear._

_She shivered lightly and moaned. "Sasuke don't! Not now, it's just…gross."_

_I laughed. Man was I relieved, she was finally back to normal and all is good with the world._

_I lowered my head and kissed her lightly before saying, "If there's anything you need just tell me."_

_"Well actually, there is something."_

_"What is it?" Somehow, I didn't have a good feeling about this._

_"I running low on tampons, do you mind getting me some?"_

_Did she just say tampons? Tampons?_

_"I mean..you don't have to get them if you're feeling uncomfortable or anything.." She continued._

_Tampons!_

_"Um…sure…no problem."_

_What was I supposed to say? She trapped me into this. Tampons? How was I supposed to get tampons? I felt my numb legs get up and carry me to my door and slip on some shoes._

_"Sasuke?"_

_"Y-yes?" She couldn't possibly ask for anything worse, right?_

_"Thanks."_

_Moments later, I felt myself in front of the local drugstore. People I knew came to this drugstore! What if they saw me buying….tampons? I knew girls had those issues, I could be mature about that…but tampons? That's just not a guy's thing!_

_This mission required all of my ninja abilities. I walked stealthily into the drug store and went straight to..THAT isle. It was traumatizing, all the sizes and colours and varieties.. why did girls need so many? I used my lightening speed abilities and grabbed a package that wasn't orange and prayed that the cashier didn't know me. And he didn't! Something was finally working in my favour!_

_I then ran back to my front door as fast as I could and sat there. BREATHE!…I did good. Mission accomplished._

_I made my way back to my bedroom where I left Sakura on my bed. She looked like she was sleeping and once again she was my beautiful peaceful blossom. Tampons weren't such a big deal._

_I walked over quietly to her and placed the tampons on the bedside table._

_"Sasuke?" She called out in a small voice._

_"Hey, I thought you were sleeping."_

_"No, just closed my eyes for a bit."_

_"You should rest."_

_Suddenly she jumped out of bed and started bouncing on top of it._

_"HAHAHA! You actually went out and bought tampons for me?"_

_I stood there staring at her and refusing to believe the scene in front of me. Sakura was now rolling on the bed laughing hysterically._

_"Sakura, what are you talking about?" I tried to be VERY calm._

_"HAHA! I fooled you! And you didn't suspect it at all!"_

_"Fooled me? Into what?"_

_She rolled her eyes, "Honestly Sasuke, for a top ninja you can be slow sometimes. I didn't need those tampons" She said very slowly._

_"You.. didn't need them?" BREATHE. I had become very good at that._

_She shook her head and laughed some more._

_"You mean all that stuff about you're cramps and stress was all a lie?" It was becoming very difficult to stay calm._

_"I had to teach you a lesson." She said sticking her tongue out at me._

_How very childish of her… Teach me a lesson!_

_"What did I do wrong?"_

_"Orange dress!"_

_"Ugh..not that again!"_

_"I have to make sure you NEVER buy me anything that's orange ever again!"_

_"So you made me get tampons!"_

_"Yup! Now you'll remember to never buy me orange clothes." She giggled._

_I looked at her in disbelief. My girlfriend was evil. I was never going to piss her off if I didn't have to. I shook my head and walked out of my room; I needed some water….and I needed to discreetly smack myself for being such an idiot._

_"Sasuke? Sasuke wait!"_

_I stopped at the door. Hmm.. maybe she thought I was really angry at her. Ha! Serves her right._

_She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist._

_"I'm sorry Sasuke. Please just come back to bed." She said quietly._

_She pulled me over to the bed and got under the covers. She moved over in the bed and pulled my hand down to signify that she wanted me to get in. I didn't think it was such a safe idea for me to get in the bed with her but I couldn't deny her anything right now so I slipped under the covers fully clothed._

_She moved close to me and rested her head on my shoulder._

_"I'm sorry I kind of ruined our plans today." She whispered._

_"It doesn't matter, we can always go tomorrow."_

_"Sasuke?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Thanks."_

_"For what?"_

_"For going out and getting me something for our anniversary…and for getting tampons" She laughed at the end._

_"Hn." Sleep sounded awfully good right now._

_She was starting to fall asleep and I smiled. She was very weird sometimes. And she made me get tampons! I'll never understand how I got through that. My girlfriend was evil but she **is** my girlfriend and there is nothing to complain about that._

_"Sasuke?" She was so far gone that I thought she was talking in her sleep but she squeezed my hand._

_I let out a sigh, "Yeah?"_

_"I love you."_

**End Flashback**

When she said it, I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I never realized that she had never said that to me until that moment. I was completely shocked and then I was completely happy. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly be any happier, she managed to change my mind. Coming from her, it meant a lot because I knew that all the crap I put her through must have made it very difficult to ever admit something like that. But she did and I was happy. Happy. Whoever thought I would ever say that again?

She definitely knew how to teach a good lesson because I never bought her anything orange ever again. Buying tampons was definitely something that was a very interesting task and thank god I never had to do that again. I'm still can't believe I bought her tampons. The fact that I would ever go that far for someone else shows exactly how much I loved her and how much she changed me. But I learned that relationships took sacrifice and a whole lot of patience.

Patience. Sacrifice. How Ironic.

* * *

Hey again! 

Well this chapter added very little to the overall plot but i just wanted to further develop their relationship just to show all the different sides of it. It's a little off the style of the rest of the chapters cuz its a but humourous so i hope that doesn't turn anyone off the story..its gonna get serious next chapter so i just wanted to lighten things up before that.

I loved ur reviews this time around...there was actually a gret response to the fluff last chapter which was a great surprise!

Anyways here are my replies! hope u like them...(it was kind of difficult to reply to some..cuz i didn't know what to say):

2supersmart: Thanks a lot..it was a great chapter to write and it definitely made me smile so im glad u thought so too.

Keely: well this is the next chapter..what do u think?..thanks for the Canada Day nod…keep reading!

Setsuna-chan09: Good!..its such a relief to hear that…I was nervous that it was too sappy for this particular fic but I squeezed it in anyway..we all needed that saku/sasu fluff relief..thanks the support!

The Assassin of the Night: Reading this review made me laugh. Who doesn't want to be a naughty girl with sasuke?…anyways..its only going to get better…sakura might just get exactly what she wants..;)

jellybean89: thanks..i love hearing from readers!..and I hope the wait wasn't too bad!

: Aww..thanks..im glad it did that..hopefully it continues to move ur heart!

sasusaku0386: OMG..thanks for the review!…lol..this another one that made me laugh. Wait for it..it will eventually happen!

NebulaX: Thanks..and there is definitely more…it ends when I say..THE END!..lol

wolfs: aww..come on..no putting ur own writing down!..Sasuke's pov is definitely a lot harder to do especially when it's a love story..i mean how lovey dovey can sasuke get without being ridiculous…I keep reading my chapters over trying to find places where sasuke is just acting too romantic to believe…so its really nice to hear that its actually good…thanks a lot and im sure ur own writing is fab

Tsumii: haha…im glad u didn't puke..that's exactly what I was going for…and there's still stuff that needs to happen before the story ends….u'll see…don't worry ;)…..anyways…thanks for reviewing and its great that u liked it..hopefully u like this one too!

Heartless Ghost: no problem!..its actually a lot of fun writing…but sometime VERY frustrating..and thanks...ur reviews really make me want to continue in those frustrating times.

Yeah..so thanks for keeping with the story for so long...its been more than two months since i started i think and it's great that u guys have kept with it!...sadly..well sadly for me...i'm taking a course over the summer..:(:(...SO depressed about the lack of freedom...but it won't stop me from writing...unless of course the workload is crazy..but i'll let u know about that

Anyways...as always..review if u have something to say, questions to ask, suggestions to give...or if u just wanna say hi..just tell me what you think! love hearing from you and thanks for any favs and reviews i've gotten so far!

See ya next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9: Birthdays

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

OK..this is a long one...still on the happy side...but a bit more serious..well cuz there's lemon in it. So here's the deal..if you DON'T want to read the lemon read this chapter...and not the other version of it..because that one has the lemon..you won't miss anything major...so don't worry about that...i just don't want to be reported for something stupid..so im giving you all a heads up.

Anyways..enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9: Birthday**

Days. It's been days and days since I've stood, sat, and then stood up again, waiting for her. She's not a late person, she was always very on time (which used to annoy me) but she loved to be late on purpose just to see how mad she could make me. She wouldn't show up for 5 minutes then 10 minutes and then 15, just to see how worried I would get before appearing, giggling and then kissing me to make sure I wouldn't stay angry at her. It was a wonder that I didn't just get fed up and leave, but I knew that she would always show up and kiss me, and deep inside of me, I knew that that was what I was waiting for.

**Flashback**

_Why does she always insist on doing this to me? Late, again she's late! Was it just me or did she just conveniently become a late person after we started dating? Even after 10 months of dating her, she was still able to find new ways of frustrating me._

_Us meeting today is her idea and hers alone because I definitely did not want to be here on today of all days. It's July 23rd, and I could safely say that I thoroughly hated this date. It was my 19th birthday. Ever since the massacre of my family, I've never allowed anyone to celebrate my birthday. What the hell's the point anyway? So, some people give you a few cheap gifts and sing you a damned lame song, it was so pointless and I didn't need that… and I had no one to give me that even if I did need it. My past few birthdays have been the best in my entire life…non-existent. No one at Sound even acknowledged that July 23rd was different from any other day, which suited me just fine._

_But I wasn't lucky enough this year. Sakura said that she would give me "the best birthday that I've ever had." Her eyes shined with so much happiness and excitement that it was impossible for me to say no but I made her promise not to sing any cheesy songs or buy me any presents._

_So that is why I'm waiting here today, waiting for her to show up. She was officially VERY late. Later than she usually was when she was trying to annoy me and despite me trying to stay calm, I started to panic. What if something happened to her? Or worse, what if she finally realized that I didn't deserve her? An hour passed by and for as long as I've known her, she has never been this late. Shit, I should have went to go look for her a long –_

_"Sasuke! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"_

_I turned around, relieved to hear her voice and then a little annoyed. If this was one of her tactics to annoy me again, it definitely was NOT funny. But when I saw her face I knew that it wasn't a prank._

_"Sasuke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be late but at the last minute there was an injured boy who was brought in, and I couldn't leave him there. I'm sorry."_

_"It's fine, you don't have to apologize." I felt a little sheepish for having been annoyed at her and thinking that she was joking again._

_"No, It's your birthday and I'll make it up to you. I promise!" She said in her determined voice._

_"Hn, remember your promise."_

_"Yeah yeah, you should lighten up." She said with a smile and pulled my hand in a direction that led to wherever she was planning to go._

_"Where are we going?"_

_"You'll see." She had an excited and partially nervous look on her face and I knew her enough to be a little scared…in a good way._

_We walked for a few more minutes until we stopped right at my front door. She turned her head to look at me and I raised my eyebrow, questioning her._

_I had given her the key a while ago and she now used it to unlock my door and pull me in._

_I was in complete shock. She had lit the room with some candles and there was a dinner setting for two in my dining room. I never knew my house had the potential to look like that but somehow, it looked warm and inviting._

_She turned to face me. "Do you like it?" She asked nervously._

_I was still trying to figure out how she managed to pull this off in **my** house and when I didn't answer, she kept talking out of nervousness._

_"I mean, I know you didn't want a party and you usually don't like going to fancy restaurants and we always go to that old tree and I wanted to do something different. I know the candles are a bit much but I –"_

_I kissed her to make her shut up and because I was grateful. I knew she had put a lot of thought in it. In my entire life, I don't remember anyone putting that much time and effort in celebrating my birthday._

_When I pulled away from her, I looked straight into her eyes, " I love it."_

_She looked at me and blushed before giggling and saying that I didn't have to take things so seriously. But I could tell she was relieved._

_She pulled me over to the table where she had set up the food and a single rose. The setting was what any woman would describe as romantic and I smacked myself for not thinking of doing this for her._

_When she unveiled the meals I was once again surprised. They were the most elaborate and delicious looking meals I had ever seen. "Did you make this?"_

_She blushed again, "Yeah"_

_"It looks really good." I said smiling at her._

_We were both pretty hungry and we started to eat the food in front of us, making small talk here and there. When we got down to dessert, we slowed down our eating and started to talk more. I took the time to notice her fully and realized that she looked incredible. I didn't even think about it before since I was so caught up in wondering where she was and then the shock of her surprise._

_But something seemed off, "Did you lie to me then?" I asked abruptly._

_"What?"_

_"You weren't at the hospital?"_

_"What makes you say that?"_

_"Well you look so damned good, you couldn't possibly have dealt with an injured child looking like that."_

_She laughed and blushed for the third time that day. I was on a roll._

_"Not really, I was here, but I did get held up at the hospital with the boy. It was before I came here so that's why I was late."_

_With that we settled back to our quiet conversation. Again, I took the time to admire her in her beautiful black dress. I felt a strange pride to see her here in my dining room. I looked at the meal we were finishing up and again, the pride struck me. I realized that I loved seeing her looking beautiful in my house and I was strangely proud of the fact that she was such an amazing cook and proud that she helped the boy at the hospital. And it was pride, not a sense of achievement that I got a girl who could cook my meals. It wasn't like that at all. It was strange to me because I always labelled her as weak and here she was apparently able to conquer anything she wanted to._

_The next thing I noticed was that she was standing up in front of me. "Come on" She said._

_I got up and followed her into my room where she reached into the drawer of my nightstand. She turned around and handed me a simply wrapped package. I looked at it and then her._

_"You promised!" I accused._

_"I know but you can't have a birthday without any presents!" She looked at me pleadingly and after 10 months, there's no way that I could ever say no to her. It was my biggest fear but in the end I didn't even care that she had so much power over me._

_I took the gift and sat down before I started to pull the ribbon apart. I lifted the lid off the box and inside lay a shiny silver plate resting on top of a dark blue band._

_When I had left Konoha, I left behind the only thing that I had that reminded me that I was a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf village. When I can back and when the village finally decided to re-instate my status as a shinobi, they gave me a new headband and I never saw my old one again._

_Until now. When I looked at it, I could see all the small and large gashes that marred its surface. It reminded me of each and every battle that I had taken part in along side Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura. I was speechless because I never expected to see this again and because Sakura had done so much for me. She could have just as easily bought something that meant nothing to either of us but she didn't. And I guess you could say that was the kind of person she was. She took the time to do things that expressed what she felt in every aspect of life. I admired her for it._

_I looked up at her, "Where'd you get this?"_

_"I asked Kakashi-sensei and he had it."_

_I ran my fingers over it reminiscently._

_"Sasuke?" She asked unsurely._

_"Thank you." I said looking at her._

_She smiled at me and blushed again. "Do you really like it?" She asked nervously._

_She was acting really weird all day. She kept blushing and although I loved it, it was weird since she usually didn't do it this often. She kept fidgeting with her hair and her dress and acting nervous which usually wasn't a trait of Sakura. I hadn't noticed all day but now that it was just us alone in a room, it became very apparent._

_But I chose to ignore it. I opted to kiss her instead, to show my gratitude… of course. I kissed her with all the appreciation and pride I felt that day. She didn't disappoint when she said she would give me the best birthday, and I wanted to thank her in my own way. I deepened the kiss and pushed my hand into her hair, which I loved so much, and my other hand went to her waist, leaving the gift forgotten in my lap. She pulled away and I was dumbstruck until I realized that she was just putting the gift onto the nightstand._

_She turned back to me and smiled and kissed me. She rested her hands on my shoulders for a while but then they moved up to my neck when she pulled me in closer to once again, deepen the kiss. I slid my tongue lightly across her bottom lip. My head was experiencing the familiar heady feeling and I needed to taste her. But she surprised me by pushing her tongue into my mouth greedily. We took turns exploring each other's mouths and then she pulled away slightly only to start sucking seductively on my bottom lip. I couldn't help but groan into her lips._

_Oh god! She was killing me. I knew that she was trying to allude to other things when she did that and she knew that it always got to me._

_Even after all these months, we still hadn't gone all the way with each other. She's told me before that she wanted it but I was still reluctant. She wasn't like any other woman and I couldn't treat her like any other woman. I wanted and needed her to know that she was more than any woman that I've ever been with. And it has taken so much self control to prove that to her that at times, I'd go home with the urge to 'finish things off' by myself. But I always managed to fix things with a nice cold shower. I didn't think I was going to be that lucky now but I could at least try._

_Reluctantly, VERY reluctantly, I pulled away. "Sakura" I rasped out._

_She tried to continue kissing me but I held her face, "Sakura" I repeated._

_"I want this." She said seriously, and seductively. She was definitely going to be the death of me._

_"Sakura, we –"_

_"Sasuke, I trust you. Completely and forever, I trust you." She was breaking my resolve and I couldn't help it, she looked and felt so damned good and I knew that the one thing I was trying to protect would be my downfall._

_I groaned again. (some how I felt like I would be doing that a lot tonight)"Sakura, are you sure?"_

_She leaned in and kissed me again. "Sasuke, please." She whispered seductively against my lips._

_There, I was done for. I knew that at that point, I would give into her every desire. _

_And I did. We fell onto the bed and let desire, passion, and love take over._

_After we were finished, and had both completely caught our breaths, the sleepiness had caught up to us. She lifted her head up to my ear._

_"Happy Birthday Sasuke," She whispered, " I love you"_

_" I love you too"_

**End Flashback**

I never did thank her for everything she had done for me that day. I don't think even I realized the full extent of what she had done. She loved me enough to give me a birthday that was unlike any other. And even though I was a hard person to please, she dealt with me anyway and she did it better that anyone else. All the little things she did for me that day made me realize how important it was to her that I had a proper birthday and the fact that she cared about that showed me how much she really loved me. The truth was that I needed her to do those things for me; to show me what love meant.

I need her to come and kiss me and tell me it was all a joke.

* * *

hello everyone! 

Ok this chapter was one of the easiest to write...i have no idea why but it was a relief. I'm really sorry to all my reviewers but i won't be able to reply to them this week because i am majorly pressed for time..turns out summer school is not as easy as i expected..and the work has just piled on!...i almost didn't get this chapter in..and if i had to reply to reviews..it woulnd't have at all. I'm really sorry for that because i love replying to u guys..but thank you all so much for your reviews and support.

Also, i'm sorry for changing the rating so abruptly but it obviously had to be done for this chapter..and i hope it didn't make it too difficult to find the fic for any of the past readers.

Anyways..its getting really late...tell me what you think of this chapter...and remember...lemon is the next one..so DON'T read it if you don't like that stuff

see you next week!


	10. Chapter 9: Birthdays lemon version

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Warning: Explicit sexual content

OK..this is a long one...still on the happy side...but a bit more serious..well cuz there's lemon in it.

This is the version with the lemon..read at your own risk!...please don't report me because i have gone through great lengths to make sure you don't read anything you don't want to.

Anyways..enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9: Birthday**

Days. It's been days and days since I've stood, sat, and then stood up again, waiting for her. She's not a late person, she was always very on time (which used to annoy me) but she loved to be late on purpose just to see how mad she could make me. She wouldn't show up for 5 minutes then 10 minutes and then 15, just to see how worried I would get before appearing, giggling and then kissing me to make sure I wouldn't stay angry at her. It was a wonder that I didn't just get fed up and leave, but I knew that she would always show up and kiss me, and deep inside of me, I knew that that was what I was waiting for.

**Flashback**

_Why does she always insist on doing this to me? Late, again she's late! Was it just me or did she just conveniently become a late person after we started dating? Even after 10 months of dating her, she was still able to find new ways of frustrating me._

_Us meeting today is her idea and hers alone because I definitely did not want to be here on today of all days. It's July 23rd, and I could safely say that I thoroughly hated this date. It was my 19th birthday. Ever since the massacre of my family, I've never allowed anyone to celebrate my birthday. What the hell's the point anyway? So, some people give you a few cheap gifts and sing you a damned lame song, it was so pointless and I didn't need that… and I had no one to give me that even if I did need it. My past few birthdays have been the best in my entire life…non-existent. No one at Sound even acknowledged that July 23rd was different from any other day, which suited me just fine._

_But I wasn't lucky enough this year. Sakura said that she would give me "the best birthday that I've ever had." Her eyes shined with so much happiness and excitement that it was impossible for me to say no but I made her promise not to sing any cheesy songs or buy me any presents._

_So that is why I'm waiting here today, waiting for her to show up. She was officially VERY late. Later than she usually was when she was trying to annoy me and despite me trying to stay calm, I started to panic. What if something happened to her? Or worse, what if she finally realized that I didn't deserve her? An hour passed by and for as long as I've known her, she has never been this late. Shit, I should have went to go look for her a long –_

_"Sasuke! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"_

_I turned around, relieved to hear her voice and then a little annoyed. If this was one of her tactics to annoy me again, it definitely was NOT funny. But when I saw her face I knew that it wasn't a prank._

_"Sasuke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be late but at the last minute there was an injured boy who was brought in, and I couldn't leave him there. I'm sorry."_

_"It's fine, you don't have to apologize." I felt a little sheepish for having been annoyed at her and thinking that she was joking again._

_"No, It's your birthday and I'll make it up to you. I promise!" She said in her determined voice._

_"Hn, remember your promise."_

_"Yeah yeah, you should lighten up." She said with a smile and pulled my hand in a direction that led to wherever she was planning to go._

_"Where are we going?"_

_"You'll see." She had an excited and partially nervous look on her face and I knew her enough to be a little scared…in a good way._

_We walked for a few more minutes until we stopped right at my front door. She turned her head to look at me and I raised my eyebrow, questioning her._

_I had given her the key a while ago and she now used it to unlock my door and pull me in._

_I was in complete shock. She had lit the room with some candles and there was a dinner setting for two in my dining room. I never knew my house had the potential to look like that but somehow, it looked warm and inviting._

_She turned to face me. "Do you like it?" She asked nervously._

_I was still trying to figure out how she managed to pull this off in **my** house and when I didn't answer, she kept talking out of nervousness._

_"I mean, I know you didn't want a party and you usually don't like going to fancy restaurants and we always go to that old tree and I wanted to do something different. I know the candles are a bit much but I –"_

_I kissed her to make her shut up and because I was grateful. I knew she had put a lot of thought in it. In my entire life, I don't remember anyone putting that much time and effort in celebrating my birthday._

_When I pulled away from her, I looked straight into her eyes, " I love it."_

_She looked at me and blushed before giggling and saying that I didn't have to take things so seriously. But I could tell she was relieved._

_She pulled me over to the table where she had set up the food and a single rose. The setting was what any woman would describe as romantic and I smacked myself for not thinking of doing this for her._

_When she unveiled the meals I was once again surprised. They were the most elaborate and delicious looking meals I had ever seen. "Did you make this?"_

_She blushed again, "Yeah"_

_"It looks really good." I said smiling at her._

_We were both pretty hungry and we started to eat the food in front of us, making small talk here and there. When we got down to dessert, we slowed down our eating and started to talk more. I took the time to notice her fully and realized that she looked incredible. I didn't even think about it before since I was so caught up in wondering where she was and then the shock of her surprise._

_But something seemed off, "Did you lie to me then?" I asked abruptly._

_"What?"_

_"You weren't at the hospital?"_

_"What makes you say that?"_

_"Well you look so damned good, you couldn't possibly have dealt with an injured child looking like that."_

_She laughed and blushed for the third time that day. I was on a roll._

_"Not really, I was here, but I did get held up at the hospital with the boy. It was before I came here so that's why I was late."_

_With that we settled back to our quiet conversation. Again, I took the time to admire her in her beautiful black dress. I felt a strange pride to see her here in my dining room. I looked at the meal we were finishing up and again, the pride struck me. I realized that I loved seeing her looking beautiful in my house and I was strangely proud of the fact that she was such an amazing cook and proud that she helped the boy at the hospital. And it was pride, not a sense of achievement that I got a girl who could cook my meals. It wasn't like that at all. It was strange to me because I always labelled her as weak and here she was apparently able to conquer anything she wanted to._

_The next thing I noticed was that she was standing up in front of me. "Come on" She said._

_I got up and followed her into my room where she reached into the drawer of my nightstand. She turned around and handed me a simply wrapped package. I looked at it and then her._

_"You promised!" I accused._

_"I know but you can't have a birthday without any presents!" She looked at me pleadingly and after 10 months, there's no way that I could ever say no to her. It was my biggest fear but in the end I didn't even care that she had so much power over me._

_I took the gift and sat down before I started to pull the ribbon apart. I lifted the lid off the box and inside lay a shiny silver plate resting on top of a dark blue band._

_When I had left Konoha, I left behind the only thing that I had that reminded me that I was a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf village. When I can back and when the village finally decided to re-instate my status as a shinobi, they gave me a new headband and I never saw my old one again._

_Until now. When I looked at it, I could see all the small and large gashes that marred its surface. It reminded me of each and every battle that I had taken part in along side Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura. I was speechless because I never expected to see this again and because Sakura had done so much for me. She could have just as easily bought something that meant nothing to either of us but she didn't. And I guess you could say that was the kind of person she was. She took the time to do things that expressed what she felt in every aspect of life. I admired her for it._

_I looked up at her, "Where'd you get this?"_

_"I asked Kakashi-sensei and he had it."_

_I ran my fingers over it reminiscently._

_"Sasuke?" She asked unsurely._

_"Thank you." I said looking at her._

_She smiled at me and blushed again. "Do you really like it?" She asked nervously._

_She was acting really weird all day. She kept blushing and although I loved it, it was weird since she usually didn't do it this often. She kept fidgeting with her hair and her dress and acting nervous which usually wasn't a trait of Sakura. I hadn't noticed all day but now that it was just us alone in a room, it became very apparent._

_But I chose to ignore it. I opted to kiss her instead, to show my gratitude… of course. I kissed her with all the appreciation and pride I felt that day. She didn't disappoint when she said she would give me the best birthday, and I wanted to thank her in my own way. I deepened the kiss and pushed my hand into her hair, which I loved so much, and my other hand went to her waist, leaving the gift forgotten in my lap. She pulled away and I was dumbstruck until I realized that she was just putting the gift onto the nightstand._

_She turned back to me and smiled and kissed me. She rested her hands on my shoulders for a while but then they moved up to my neck when she pulled me in closer to once again, deepen the kiss. I slid my tongue lightly across her bottom lip. My head was experiencing the familiar heady feeling and I needed to taste her. But she surprised me by pushing her tongue into my mouth greedily. We took turns exploring each other's mouths and then she pulled away slightly only to start sucking seductively on my bottom lip. I couldn't help but groan into her lips._

_Oh god! She was killing me. I knew that she was trying to allude to other things when she did that and she knew that it always got to me._

_Even after all these months, we still hadn't gone all the way with each other. She's told me before that she wanted it but I was still reluctant. She wasn't like any other woman and I couldn't treat her like any other woman. I wanted and needed her to know that she was more than any woman that I've ever been with. And it has taken so much self control to prove that to her that at times, I'd go home with the urge to 'finish things off' by myself. But I always managed to fix things with a nice cold shower. I didn't think I was going to be that lucky now but I could at least try._

_Reluctantly, VERY reluctantly, I pulled away. "Sakura" I rasped out._

_She tried to continue kissing me but I held her face, "Sakura" I repeated._

_"I want this." She said seriously, and seductively. She was definitely going to be the death of me._

_"Sakura, we –"_

_"Sasuke, I trust you. Completely and forever, I trust you." She was breaking my resolve and I couldn't help it, she looked and felt so damned good and I knew that the one thing I was trying to protect would be my downfall._

_I groaned again. (some how I felt like I would be doing that a lot tonight)"Sakura, are you sure?"_

_She leaned in and kissed me again. "Sasuke, please." She whispered seductively against my lips._

_There, I was done for. _

_I pulled her closer with a new sense of fervour and relief at the fact that I no longer had to practice self-restraint. I kissed her with as much passion and hunger as was burning in me and pooling in a particular area below the belt. God, she tasted better than ever and again, I was addicted. Somewhere along the way, she had straddled me and I was now sitting on the edge of my bed with a very sexy Sakura on me. One of my hands remained fisted in her soft hair and the other traveled down her back, caressing her side and continued down her exposed thigh where her dress had ridden up._

_She felt so warm and so soft and so good it was impossible for me to think. I moved based on what my body most wanted to do and it was more amazing than I could of imagined._

_Throughout this entire time, I continued to kiss her sometimes hard and sometimes softly. But every time I tried to slow things down, she would pull me back in and take over. Even though it was Sakura, I was still a man and I hated being dominated. I always kissed her harder and with more need and urgency until she was moaning and we were both breathing hard._

_I let my hand slide back up her body slowly, feeling every curve of her hips to her waist and I felt her shudder against me. I continued to drag my hand up her body until it rested against her breast and I kneaded it gently with my palm. She pulled away from the kiss and gasped at the new feeling before moaning softly and letting her eyes close and her head fall back. I smirked and took this opportunity to press my lips greedily at her collarbone placing small kisses up until I reached her pulse._

_Sakura was mine and I wanted every man to know that. I sucked and nipped at her pulse until I was satisfied with the mark I had left behind._

_She gasped out my name and pulled my hand that was at her neck to her back where the zipper of her dress was._

_"Sasuke" She whispered and she kissed me again but this time it was a hot and wet kiss, slow and incredibly sexy. She was making it extremely hard for me to take it slow._

_My hands moved of their own will, one still focusing on her breast and the other one slowly sliding the zipper down. The straps of her dress started to slide off her pale, smooth shoulders and exposed the top half of her body, which to my half delight and half annoyance was covered in black lace._

_She tried to kiss me again but this time I pulled away. I stared at her and it was like there was an invisible force that forced my eyes to be glued to her. She was stunning with her dress down to her waist and her hair a sexy mess and I was suddenly aware of my pants feeling ten sizes too small. I wanted to make her say my name and scream out in pleasure. I wanted to let her physically feel love._

_I looked up at her and she was blushing hard and I could tell that her eyes were avoiding mine._

_I held her face close to mine and I whispered, "You're incredible," before leaning in pushing my lips hard against hers. I slid my tongue into her mouth again and got lost in her heat. A moment later I felt her hands slide down my chest to find the hem of my shirt, which she lifted above my head. I desperately tried to get back to her lips but she pulled away and stood up in front of me._

_I watched her lustfully, greedily soaking up the image of her with barely any clothes on. She looked at me with such determined, sexy, and confident eyes and her determination and confidence only worked to turn me on more. Then I saw the mischievous glint in her eyes as she started to slide the dress off of her hips and let it drop to the floor._

_So much for suave and smooth, all I could do was gape at her. She never failed to blow me away and if I were never able to have sex again I would have images to last me a lifetime. She walked back up to me and straddled me again kissing me with her own passion and lust. It was in one word…hot._

_She started to grind her hips against mine and I thought I was going to lose it I tried to stop her but she insisted on driving me crazy. The friction she was causing against me was so incredibly good but I knew that if it continued, everything would be over very soon. I tried to counter her by putting the focus back on her and I ran my hands up the naked flesh of her stomach and then her ribcage. Again she shivered but this time I didn't stop there. I slid my hand under the silk of her bra and touched her breast, flesh against flesh. She lost all focus of what she was doing and moaned deeply into my mouth. I smirked; I was in charge again. I kissed down her neck and lingered against her collarbone before going down further to kiss the top of her breasts. She pulled me closer to her by my hair showing me that she wanted more._

_Things started to spiral out of control again as I felt the desperate need to feel her soft naked flesh against me. I let my hands travel to her back where I found the clasp of her bra. Without hesitation I unclasped it with ease and her strapless bra fell and exposed her to me. With the help of both my hands and the cool air against her, her nipples hardened and I felt myself harden even more at the site of her._

_I got up with her legs still wrapped around me and deposited her in the middle of my large bed. I got back on top of her and kissed her lips again before placing open mouth kisses down her neck and to the swell of her breasts. I looked up at her darkened eyes before taking in her hardened nipple. She writhed and gasped again and I couldn't help but feel male pride at bringing her to writhe on my bed. I sucked slowly and sensuously kneading her other breast with my hand. After I was satisfied with the effect, I moved on to her other breast and she moaned again at the contact of my mouth on her neglected nipple. I pulled away again after a while and blew lightly against her wet nipple and she gasped my name again at the new sensation._

_I kissed her lips again, unable to forget the taste of vanilla and smell of cherry blossoms. Her hands slid down my body again, and this time I felt her small fingers working at my belt. After what seemed like an eternity, she pulled my belt apart and worked on the zipper of my pants. I pulled away from her panting. She was so close to touching the very part of me that caused all this pressure and desire. She looked at me as she slid the zipper down slowly and for a moment that was all we could hear because I stopped breathing. She pushed my pants off around my hips and I kicked them off. She started again with my boxers and this time I thought my heart stopped. Her fingers grazed my straining member as she slipped them off. She gasped when she looked down and all I could do was close my eyes and concentrate on not taking her right then and there. While my eyes closed I suddenly felt her hands on me. Her small fingers slowly closed around my length and I groaned a low groan burying my face into her hair. She tentatively slid her palm up and back down my length and I hissed out her name. She started to gain more confidence and her movements became more experienced and sure and I knew that I was going to explode soon. I was supporting myself on my elbows and I thought I was going to collapse on top of her. I had to stop her._

_"Sakura" I hissed out again. "Sakura stop..oh god stop." I said huskily._

_I pulled her hands away from me and she looked up at me with a confused expression. All I could do was kiss her and hope that she understood that if she wanted this to continue, she would have to stop. Plus, I didn't want this to be about me, I wanted to be the one pleasuring her, not that I didn't like it vice versa. I just wanted to make sure that her first was better than what she expected._

_I slid my hand down her flat, smooth stomach until I reached the hem of her black lace panties. I wanted to see her entirely bare. I wanted to see my Sakura just by herself and nothing else. Desire drove me and nothing else. I pulled the fabric down, exposing her, as she watched me nervously. I looked up again and kissed her and breathlessly told her that she was so beautiful. I kissed her again and again, never wanting to stop as I slid my fingers down, blindly feeling for her womanhood. When I reached my destination I was even more turned on by the fact that she was already wet with desire. I rubbed my fingers against the small bundle of nerves that I knew would drive her wild, and her body jerked upwards as she gasped. I continued to rub against her bud and she moaned and writhed trying to get closer to my body. Her reactions excited me and I wanted to bring her to her peak just to see what she would do. I had a feeling she was a screamer. Slowly, I slid my middle finger into her core and her fingers dug into my shoulder, as if she were gripping me for support. She bit her lip to try to stop from making noise but I wanted to hear her. I slid my finger out and pushed it back in with more speed._

_"Sasuke" She gasped quickly. I smirked, that was what I wanted to hear._

_I started to set a steady but solid pace and her hips started to rock against my finger. I slid a second finger inside of her and this time we both groaned out. It was almost too much for me to feel her around my fingers. She was so tight, wet, and unbearably hot that I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be buried to the hilt inside of her. At this thought, I started to create a faster pace, desperate to make her cum. She was moaning more desperately now and her breathing had become very shallow._

_"Sasuke..Ahh" She gasped again, and again I increased my pace. I could tell she was extremely close, and with a final thrust she screamed out "Ah..Sasuke!" And her inner muscles clamped around my fingers as she came._

_I kissed her all over until she was able to catch her breath and then she started kissing me back._

_"Sasuke –"_

_"Sakura, we don't have to do this yet if you don't want to." I don't even know how I managed to even form those words but I guess at that point I knew it was the right thing to say. I just hoped to god, or any higher power for that matter, that she wouldn't change her mind._

_"Sasuke, I want to be yours forever." She whispered and smiled reassuringly._

_I kissed her again before sliding up between her legs. She was definitely wet enough to take me but I didn't want to hurt her._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Sasuke please." She begged impatiently._

_With that, I pushed into her slowly and when I felt the barrier, I broke through it quickly to help ease the pain and then slowed down again. I kept pushing until I was all the way in her and then I stayed completely still. I thought I was going to cum. She was like a vice grip made of hot silk and I thought I died and somehow made it to heaven. I couldn't move because I wanted her to adjust to me. Her fingernails were digging into my back but I couldn't feel the pain. She was biting her lip again and I knew she was trying to endure the sharp pain._

_"I'm sorry." I whispered into her ear hoarsely._

_She shook her head violently, "I'm ok, just keep going."_

_I slid tentatively out of her and pushed back in slowly and when nothing seemed to be causing her too much pain, I did it again and again. This was my new drug. I don't remember there ever being a woman who felt like Sakura. I don't remember ever feeling things other than lust when I was having sex. But this was so different. I felt incredibly good to be able to say that Sakura was mine and mine alone however greedy and selfish that sounded. It felt good._

_Soon, Sakura was following my rhythm with her hips and when I gave a particularly sharp thrust she moaned._

_"Unh..Sasuke..oh god.."She groaned_

_I picked up my pace and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I growled at her. She seemed to tighten around me even though she was already unbearably tight._

_"Sakura..shit.."_

_Her nails were scraping my back again but this time out of pleasure and the pain added some strange pleasure for me._

_I began to thrust into her harder. It was becoming very difficult for me to control myself but she didn't seem to mind because she gasped at the new rhythm. Things were spiralling dangerously out of control and I knew that I was almost there but I wanted to make sure she finished before me._

_I rocked my hips into her as deeply as I could, and I ground my pelvic bone against her clit each time._

_"Sasuke..ahhh..Sasuke..Don't stop..please…please."_

_I pushed into her harder and she cried out again "Sasuke!" She tightened again and she came hard against me. But this time, it was the most intense feeling I had ever had. White-hot heat flashed in my eyes and through my body and the intense pressure that I had been feeling all night built up until I completely exploded. With a few final erratic thrusts and a hoarse "Sakura" I came deep inside of her. Marking her with my seed._

_We were both gasping for breath by the end of it and I collapsed on top of her, unable to support myself. Below me, I could feel Sakura's body trembling from the aftermath and my body was still weak from the release. I tried to pull out and move off of her but her hands stopped me and she protested._

_"Don't," She said softly and I understood her. Neither of us wanted to lose the new physical connection we had just found. So instead, I put my arm around her waist and rolled over until she was on top of me and her head rested on my chest._

_I pulled my black silk covers over our damp bodies and looked down at her. She was beautiful and no matter how many times it had struck me throughout our relationship, I always managed to notice it again. But in the pale light of the moon, her messy hair was softer, and her ivory skin was glowing. To see her body against my sheets was such a contrast and I knew she was the light in my life and I never wanted to lose her._

_After we were finished, and had both completely caught our breaths, the sleepiness had caught up to us. She lifted her head up to my ear._

_"Happy Birthday Sasuke," She whispered, " I love you"_

_" I love you too"_

**End Flashback**

I never did thank her for everything she had done for me that day. I don't think even I realized the full extent of what she had done. She loved me enough to give me a birthday that was unlike any other. And even though I was a hard person to please, she dealt with me anyway and she did it better that anyone else. All the little things she did for me that day made me realize how important it was to her that I had a proper birthday and the fact that she cared about that showed me how much she really loved me. The truth was that I needed her to do those things for me; to show me what love meant.

I need her to come and kiss me and tell me it was all a joke.

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hello everyone! 

Ok this chapter was one of the easiest to write...i have no idea why but it was a relief. Well easiest except for the sex scene...that was hard. Its wierd to think of it from Sasuke's point of view and it seemed awkward to me that he would be describing every detail...but hey..maybe he just has a REALLY good memory..lol..oh well.. it had to be from his perspective...it would have ruined the story if it wasn't..so i really hoped that it was an ok scene..im nervous about it..

I'm really sorry to all my reviewers but i won't be able to reply to them this week because i am majorly pressed for time..turns out summer school is not as easy as i expected..and the work has just piled on!...i almost dind't get this chapter in..and if i had to reply to reviews..it wouldn't have at all. I'm really sorry for that because i love replying to u guys..but thank you all so much for your reviews and support

Also, i'm sorry for changing the rating so abruptly but it obviously had to be done for this chapter..and i hope it didn't make it too difficult to find the fic for any of the past readers.

please let me know what u guys thought about this chapter and especially the lemon!

see you next week!


	11. Chapter 10: Open Up

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

OK...so this chappie..may be a little boring..its about Sasuke's past i guess..and a little fluff at the end...and its back to its rated T - ness...lol..yeah..

hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 10: Open Up**

Talking. I have never been really good with that. I always preferred to keep things to myself so that I could think them over, silently brooding over whatever melancholic thought I had. It was part of my half mysterious half melodramatic persona. What most people don't understand is that it's hard for me to open up. Sharing your problems with someone else is weak and weakness, as most people know, is one of my greatest pet peeves. When I talked to Sakura, it wasn't for the sake of me relieving myself of my problems by way of talking to her; it was respecting her enough to realize I could trust her with my thoughts. That's what it felt to me and it's what allowed me to overcome the struggles I've had with this so-called 'opening up.' It was that and the fact that I knew that Sakura would never think of me as weak just like I would no longer think of her as weak.

**Flashback** (1 months after the last flashback) 

_The harsh light of the morning sun that poured through the crack where my curtains failed to meet was what woke me up. Annoying. I was having the greatest dream and the greatest sleep. When my mind started to clear from the early morning fog, I realized that there was something soft and warm in front of me and in my arms. I opened my eyes and looked down. The breathtaking image of soft pink hair and perfectly smooth skin made me smile. In the last month Sakura had basically moved in, she still had her house but she spent every night here with me. And after that first time a month ago, I guess you could say we've found each other too hard to resist. It was suffice to say that I was a happy man …and I don't think she's complaining either._

_I smirked remembering last night and instinctively pulled her closer against me until our bodies were flush against each other. I buried my face into her hair and against the place where her neck met her shoulder._

_She moaned a little and she seemed as annoyed as I was that she was being woken up. I smirked again and then kissed her neck lightly while my hand traced patterns against her stomach._

_She squirmed and giggled. I stopped when she was fully awake and let her breathing come back down to normal again._

_"Mmm, 'morning," she said as she turned her head towards me as if asking me to kiss her._

_I laughed at her laziness and bent my head down to capture her lips softly._

_"Morning" I said after pulling away_

_I tightened my hold on her again, letting her know that she wasn't allowed to get up anytime soon._

_We fell into a peaceful silence and it almost seemed like we could fall right back to sleep. I watched her face and again I smiled. She had a small smile on her face and a far away look as if she was thinking about something. While watching her, I fell into my own thoughts. It was times like these that I was amazed that she was here with me._

_I don't know what caused it but I began to think about the time when I left her, about 7 years ago. I guess it was because I felt a pang in my heart again of how lucky I was to have her. I thought of my goals and plan for my life back then, and realized that I was being the naïve one to think that my problems would be solved if I could just be stronger. I thought about all that I had seen and done while at Sound. In waves, all the guilt that I hadn't experienced in months came flooding back._

_I realized that everything I have been experiencing with her, and the happiness just masked the guilt that was still there. I wanted desperately to be purged of it. I wanted her to understand why I left. Suddenly, I just wanted to tell her everything and I realized she never asked me to explain anything yet. I was grateful for her understanding but now I wanted her to know._

_"I didn't do it to betray you or anyone else." I blurted out softly._

_"What?"_

_"I mean, back then when I ..when I left. I didn't do it just to betray you."_

_"Sasuke….what's wrong?"_

_I know I must have sounded crazy. Just a moment ago we were laughing and smiling and now I was bringing up the painful topic of my departure. But it suddenly became unbearable to hold back and I just wanted to take this weight, which I didn't realize was there until now, off my shoulders. Once in a while, the fear of losing her would prompt me to say things that I would otherwise not. That and I felt like she deserved to know. I knew far more about her past and her life than she knew about mine and it was incredibly unfair to her._

_"I looked up to him you know, my brother."_

_Neither of us spoke for a while._

_I took a deep breath, "I was the youngest in my family and I was always under the protection of my mother. My brother on the other hand, got to train with my father. And my father loved Itachi because he saw the future of the Uchiha clan in him. I always thought that Itachi would some day teach me everything he knew. He wasn't a particularly mean brother, but I was pretty young before he started to pull away from the family so I can't really remember what he was like. We all thought he would be the one to bring the Uchiha clan to an even greater status, he was that good._

_"And your parents?" She asked softly._

_"My mom was the heart of our family. She made up for any cold-heartedness that existed and when I look back now, I could tell that she tried hard for me to be like that too. She loved my father with all her heart but she didn't want me to have to work so hard to be able to talk to people. She tried to protect from that Uchiha characteristic. In the end, it didn't work out like that."_

_By this time she turned around to face me. She took my hand in her smaller one and squeezed it reassuringly._

_In a way, I was afraid that she would realize how scary the Uchiha family was and maybe she wouldn't want to be a part of that but I knew I had to let her know._

_"My dad was a bit of a hard ass but I still strived to get his attention. I wanted my father to see me as worthy of the Uchiha name. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him where we weren't discussing my future as a clan member but when he….when I saw his …him dead, I never remember ever feeling so much pain."_

_"I'm sure you know this, but I want to tell you this myself. My entire family was murdered.. massacred by my brother. At the time, I was incredibly confused to come home from school to find everyone… dead. I was even relieved to see that I wasn't alone and that I had my brother. But then I saw him holding a bloody kunai and I didn't know what to say. He in turn, told me not to be weak about it. He said he wanted to test his strength and show our father that he was finally good enough. He left me there with the bodies of everyone in my family."_

_My body stiffened as I said these things; I would cry if I had any tears left in me, but I promised that I would never cry about this again. It was the first time I ever told anyone the details of what happened and it felt like I was reliving the entire thing. I never really forced myself to face the event like this and even after over a decade, it was still incredibly difficult. Sakura moved closer to me and gripped my hand tighter, and I was grateful for her silent understanding._

_"I didn't start to hate my brother until I grew up and understood the true meaning of hate. I did idolize him up until then, and it was hard to get over the shock of having no one there. But then I did hate him and with more passion than I had for life itself. My hate for my brother took over my life and I wanted to avenge my family's massacre so badly that it became the only goal I had in my life. I would do anything to achieve it. I know it probably seems like a stupid reason now, but that's why I left. I thought Orochimaru could give me the strength I needed. I wasn't trying to hurt you in anyway…I was blinded."_

_"It's ok Sasuke. It was so long ago and it doesn't matter anymore."_

_"I want you to know that though. I'm not making excuses for myself because I know that its stupid but I want you to know."_

_"I do know."_

_"I love you." I said to her in all seriousness._

_She smiled and leant up to kiss me. I kissed her back harder than she was expecting and she moaned lightly into my lips. I pulled her body up against mine again but this time her body was resting on top of mine. I pushed my tongue into her mouth revelling in the feeling of her soft body against mine and the ends of her soft hair tickling my face. I ran my hand up her spine and she shivered. It was a beautiful morning._

_She pulled away, teasing me, "I love you too."_

_She started to untangle herself from my bed and me._

_"Where do you think you're going?" I asked and pulled her back to me, already missing the warmth of her body._

_"Mmm, getting up."_

_"No" I breathed into her ear._

_She giggled an alluring giggle and I started to nibble at her neck._

_"Stop it!" She got out of bed, "I'm going to take a shower and then we need to restock your fridge."_

_I stared at her body barely even paying attention to what she was saying._

_"Sasuke!" She shrieked and placed her hands on her hips angrily. "Are you listening to me?"_

_I smirked, "Yeah you said something about how you wanted me to join you in the shower." I said as I started getting out of bed._

_"No! If you get in, we won't ever leave this room!"_

_"Exactly," I said still smirking with my arms crossed cockily in front._

_I know that sometimes I can be an arrogant jerk and even though she acts like she can't stand it, she finds it completely irresistible._

_"No, you're staying here while I take a shower." She said but as she turned around she walked seductively away leaving the bathroom door wide open._

_I smirked..again. She wants me. I walked in after her and wrapped my arm around her waist bending down to her ear._

_"Happy one year Anniversary"_

**End Flashback**

After I told her about my past and my reasons for leaving, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't hold any more guilt and I felt like there was nothing else to think about except her. It was a new freedom that I had never known before. I knew that she had probably already known most of what I said but I needed to tell her myself to show that I really did trust her. She made it so easy for me to talk about myself, which I previously had no experience with. She made me want to tell her things just so I could see her reaction. It all sounds so stupid but unless you've loved someone that much, no one will ever understand what I mean. I loved her then and I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I didn't care that I was supposed to be an Uchiha and Uchiha's didn't have feelings like that according to my father. One year was a long time to be with someone but it didn't even seem that long to me. I wanted her forever. I want her forever.

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hello again!

ok..so last chapter's lemon..lets discus..or at least let me talk about it...i don't know whether i like it or not..just because i felt like i had this whole plot line..and then a sex scene which changed the whole view of my story..or at least thats the way i saw it afterwards..i mean i have nothing against stories with sex..i think my next story will be like that..just cuz it might be fun...but i don't know if it was right for this story...oh well...i'll think about it some more..and maybe i'll take the chapter off and take the rating back down... ok..i just had to get that off my chest!

next up...wow!..the hits for this fic sky rocketed!..i'm really happy about that...i jsut really want my work to be read...and anything that tells me that people are enjoying it or want to look into it makes me really happy!

ok..and i was able to reply to reviews this week..which i was really proud of...it was a killer week at school..and im about ready to quit..but i've only got a week and a half left...so im really hoping it won't disrupt my writing schedule!

lastly..with this chapter..ok..so most of the stuff describing sasuke's past was straight out of my head with a few obvious guidlines..like itachi killing his family..so if its not exactly accurate..thats not what i was going for...also..i know it may have been boring..but i really wanted to show that sasuke was able to not be a block of ice...and so thats why i included the fluff at the end...well...honestly..i wasn't in the mood to introduce any dramatic story lines today...so thats for later...actually..im think there's only 3 more chapters left..wow!..almost done!

ok..and lastly-lastly..thanks for the reviews!..and for reading...and once again..feel free to tell me anything abotu my story..or whatever you want...like giving me a virtual oreo..(lol..u know who you are!)..haha

Wolfs: umm..well Sasuke isn't a virgin if that's what ur asking. And I kind of felt that it wasn't exactly a good moment to put that in but I guess was I was trying to say was that he couldn't even compare her to anyone else because she was so much more to him…does that make sense? Im sorry if u felt that it ruined the moment…I actually wanted to go back and take that part out..but I couldn't find it…so I thought maybe I really didn't put it in..but I guess I did..anyway..if u wanna tell me where it is approx. then I'll be happy to take it out. ..anyway thanks for the review

Yssa: short and sweet!..thanks

Sylvia: lol..ur so enthusiastic..but I don't think there will be another lemon in this fic just cuz that's not really the point of it. I just wanted to include Sakura's first time becuz I thought it was a momentous event…I have an idea for my next fic tho..which will probably be way more adult..but we'll see when I'm done this…im glad you enjoyed it tho..thanx!

Dancingwithinbrokendreams: (accepts oreo) and…(eats oreo)…lol..thanks for that…oh well..this whole story was based on his memory..so we'll just blame it on his greatness..:)….lol

InterwovenEmotions: aww..its reviews like this that make me want to update faster! I'm glad that you enjoyed it and I hope you continue to read …thanks for the review!

Xnightshadex: another short and sweet one..thanks!

Heartless Ghost: yay for sasuke!…I did get the birth date right right?…cuz I just got it off a website that looked credible enough..i dunno..oh well..thanks for ur reviews again!

Tamara: thanks..and I respect that…I hope I didn't offend you..and I wanted to put up different versions because I didn't want to force people into reading the sex..so thanks for giving it a chance..and I hope you keep reading!

see you soon!


	12. Author's Note

hey guys

ok...firstly, don't worry this is**NOT** one of those notes telling everyone that im gonna stop writing the fic becuz i've ran out of inspiration..i know how disappointing those are

the bad news is that..since its exam time again (will these damn exams never end!) i won't be able to update this weekend...but the good news is that..next week i'll be done..and hopefully i'll even get it out before next weekend since i should be completely done my course..bythe middle of next week..fingers crossed!

i promise u i will continue this..so please check next week for the update..like i said before probably only 2 or 3 chapters left!

anyways..sorry again!

see you next week!


	13. Chapter 11: Worries

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto

OK so this chapter is the beginning of the end...anyways..thats all i have to say for now!...Enjoy!

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**Chapter 11: Worries**

Biting coolness again. Suddenly the air feels bitingly cold against my skin. I don't want to think about it anymore but I can't stop myself. Everything plays over and over in my head, haunting me. Why can't I stop? WHY can't I stop!

**Flashback**

_It was another morning at the Uchiha house. When I woke up this morning, Sakura was gone. I didn't think too much about it since sometimes she left to get more clothes without telling me because she didn't want to wake me up. I rolled out of bed lazily to my bathroom and smiled remembering last night's activities…damn she was good. Stepping into the shower after I brushed my teeth, I let the hot water run over my body. Needless to say it was very relaxing._

_Steam filled the bathroom as I stepped out twenty minutes later. I walked out into my room to grab a change of clothes when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist._

_"Good morning," she said._

_I smiled, "Good morning. Where'd you go?"_

_"I'm running out of clean things to wear so I went to get more."_

_I turned around to face her and bent my head down to hers to kiss her lips. I nibbled teasingly on her bottom lip and she giggled, pulling away._

_"Hurry up and get dressed."_

_"Why? What are we doing?"_

_"We're going to meet Hinata and Naruto for lunch."_

_"Lunch? I just woke up."_

_"Yeah well you were a lazy bum and slept in and it's 12:00 now."_

_"Hey it's not my fault!"_

_She raised her eyebrow at me, "Oh yeah? Then whose fault is it then?"_

_"Well, yours."_

_"How?"_

_"Well if you weren't so god damn irresistible last night I may have gone to sleep early," I whispered_

_I thought I was being smooth so I tried to kiss her again. Instead, she rolled her eyes and pushed me away before going to the dresser to pick out some clothes and throw them at me…but not before I saw the faint blush across her cheeks._

_I smiled again. She never changes._

_Another twenty minutes later I found myself being dragged out towards the Ichiraku. Damn Naruto, why does he always get to pick where we eat? Once we got there we saw that Naruto and Hinata were already seated and Naruto was practically drooling. Honestly, how could that woman deal with him? Sakura is SO lucky that I'm not like that._

_"Sakura! Sasuke! Get your asses down here so we can finally order!" Who else but Naruto would say that?_

_"Naruto! Don't be so rude!"_

_"Ehh heh..sorry Hinata-chan!"_

_At least Hinata has finally got some backbone. She'll need it if she really wants to date that idiot._

_"Hey guys!" Sakura said and then elbowed me in my side._

_"Hi" I coughed and spluttered out. She didn't have to do that. Unlike some people, I have some manners._

_Lunch started off pretty awkwardly. We all ordered our meals and Hinata kept looking at me like I was going to bite her head off. But after a while we fell into a comfortable silence. It was always like that when we got together with them. For some reason, Hinata always needs some time spent around me in order to feel like her life isn't in danger. When I told Sakura this she laughed at me and told me to stop being so scary._

_"So Sakura, Is Sasuke being a good boyfriend?" Asked Naruto_

_Wow, I wanted to hurt that dumbass._

_"That's something I should be asking Hinata." Said Sakura good-naturedly._

_"Hn." I stated in agreement._

_Hinata just blushed._

_"Hey! I am a good boyfriend! Right Hinata-chan?"_

_Hinata blushed again and Sakura and I laughed._

_Aside from all of that, lunch passed by pretty uneventfully and soon I was looking forward to being alone with Sakura. I like my friends and all but after a few hours, they get annoying….. Who am I kidding? Naruto gets annoying after five minutes!_

_A painstaking half an hour of Naruto's idiotic remarks later we paid the bill and walked out of the ramen house. We said our goodbyes to Naruto and Hinata and went our separate ways._

_"Finally!" I said_

_"Sasuke! They're your friends too!"_

_"Yes and you and I both no how annoying Naruto can get."_

_She laughed._

_"So where do you want to go today?"_

_"Um, actually, I can't"_

_"What do you mean you can't?"_

_"I'm sorry, I have to go into the hospital today."_

_"I thought you had a day off."_

_"I do but I have to go in for an appointment for myself."_

_"What? What's wrong?"_

_"It's nothing Sasuke, just a check up."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yeah, I promise. Don't worry."_

_"Do you want me to go with you?"_

_"No, it's ok. Seriously, it's just a check up."_

_"Ok, I'll walk you there."_

_"Sasuke, I'm sorry."_

_"For what?"_

_"I feel like I'm ditching you."_

_"Don't, I know it's not like that. You don't have to feel sorry for a doctor's appointment," I said kissing her on her forehead._

_She smiled and I pulled on her hand in the direction of the hospital. We walked in silence for ten minutes before we reached the front doors of the hospital._

_She stopped and turned to me. She stepped up on her toes and whispered, " Thanks for walking me here."_

_She kissed me slowly wrapping her arms around my neck and using her tongue ever so skilfully. She was seducing me and putting me in her trance and I was falling for it completely. She pulled away slowly and breathed and I groaned in frustration._

_She giggled and said mischievously, "Don't worry, I'll finish it tonight."_

_"You better." I growled_

_She looked down to the front of my pants and giggled._

_"Bye, I'll see you in an hour," She said as she turned to leave._

_I pulled her back. "I love you," I said softly._

_She smiled, "I love you too."_

_I watched as she went through the hospital doors, her hair fluttering behind her. I waited until she was out of sight before I turned and went back to my house. Upon entering my place, I realized that it was really empty without her. I shook my head at myself. What was wrong with me? She was only going to be gone for an hour. I sat down on the couch and watched T.V. Apparently T.V is what I turn to when I have to wait for Sakura._

_Time passes agonizingly slow when you're bored. That's what I learned the hard way. Where was she? Surely doctor's appointments weren't supposed to last two hours. I was becoming worried, and rightfully so. Maybe something bad happened at the doctors? No, that can't be; she said it was just a check up. I got up, went to my door and just when I opened it, ready to go out and search for her, the phone rang._

_My heart stopped. I couldn't help but think that something had happened to her and whoever was calling was going to break the news to me. I couldn't stop my hand from shaking as I picked up the receiver._

_"Hello?"_

_"Sasuke?"_

_"Sakura?"_

_"Yeah, its me."_

_"What happened?"_

_"Nothing, I'm fine."_

_"Where are you?"_

_"Still at the hospital."_

_"Why? Is there something wrong?"_

_"No, everything's fine."_

_"I'm coming over right now."_

_"No it's ok, Sasuke I promise there's nothing wrong it just took longer than I expected."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes. Listen don't wait up for me. I'm going to stay at my place tonight."_

_"Why? What's wrong?"_

_"Sasuke! There's nothing wrong I swear! I just need to go and pack some stuff up for my parents tonight. They just called and asked me to."_

_"Do you want me to come over and help?" I was still not completely convinced that she was fine._

_"No it's ok."_

_"OK" I wanted to go, but I knew Sakura would get pissed off at me if I did. She'd accuse me of being untrustworthy or thinking that she was weak._

_"Sasuke?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I need to talk to you tomorrow."_

_"About what?" I asked concernedly._

_"You'll find out tomorrow. Just meet me at our tree at 2 o'clock."_

_"Are you sure you're ok?"_

_"Yes!" She answered exasperatedly._

_"OK, 2 o'clock. But you better tell me what's going on."_

_"I will, promise."_

_"I'll see you tomorrow then?"_

_"Yeah"_

_"Bye"_

_"Sasuke?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I love you so much."_

_"I love you too."_

**Flashback to be continued**

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ok..so i feel REALLY bad...not only did i not update last week but this update was really short..and i know that...but this is how it has to be divided up..so im really very sorry...but now that schools officially over..and for real this time..im hoping that i can get the chapters out faster...but im not promising anything...but i will be able to get back to the once a week updates again at the least!...thanks for ur patience with last week! 

Well here are the review replies! it's two weeks worth..and i honestly think the reviews are longer than the actual chapter (feeling guilty again!)

**The following are replies to reviews sent after the Chapter 10 update:**

Wolfs: haha.. sorry but i can't answer any of those questions…it's all a surprise but honestly I love to hear you guys predicting whats going to happen. It's interesting to see what people get from reading the chapters. Thnx for reviewing tho.

Yssa: lol…Thanks! this is how I thought he would be too and I was worried that maybe I was making him out of character?..so im really glad to hear its ur vision of him too :)

InterwovenEmotions: haha…exactly what I believe in!…I dunno..i finished the chapter and then I thought about it and how all the other chapters have been kind of happy so far so I thought that I would add in that little bit before it turned dramatic again. But im happy to hear u liked it..thanx!

Heartless Ghost: don't worry liking an Uchiha brother isn't wrong…they are very very hot…this is a bit off topic..but haven't u ever wondered what they would look like if they were real people?..i've always thought about if they were to make a movie that wasn't animated..who would they get to play the brothers?..but then I think it would be impossible to fill their role..no human being could ever look like that…lol..anyways..im glad u like my fic THAT much..:).Thanks...lol

Dancingwithinbrokendreams: all these oreo!..ur going to make me fat! And who is this random person?…although I appreciate u getting people to read my fic…I can't help but feel slightly afraid for him/her..why don't u give them an oreo and make them feel a little better?..lol…thanks..i love those cyber oreos!

Unknown: thanks!..and also thanks for the advice..i definitely do read other people's fics!…hope u keep reading!

DemonPrincess159: lol..nice + cute review too..thanks a lot!

Tamara: haha..no problem!..thanks for the review!

sasusaku0386: that virtual party was a blast!..lol..thanks ..and if u haven't noticed…im creating the perfect boyfriend in this fic…sexy mysterious and not afraid to open up..haha…my boyfriend wouldn't be very happy if he read this..lol…thanks for reviewing!

sasuke uchiha 6: thanks!…I hope u like this chapter too! Oh and thanks for confirming his birthday for me!

Nanirain: questions questions questions…what fun would it be if I gave away the plot?…and ur the first person to ask me that question…no one else has even wondered why sasuke has been in that place for so long..but calm down I promise u'll get ur answer in the next two chapters….oh and I will buy myself something..haha….thanks for commenting on my writing..i really appreciate it!..anyways…enjoy the next few chapters..they're definitely for you….lastly…go check those boxes!..all power to you!..lol

**Replies to reviews sent after the author's note:**

Dancingwithinbrokendreams: wow..another oreo!..thanks!..lol…and I live in Canada..u know that place…that's really cold all the time..where we're all lumberjacks and we all live in igloos and own our very moose!..lol..j/k..its actually really hot right now…and it is my summer..i just took english in summer school because I didn't want to take during the school year!..and now I'm DONE!.HAHA…a WHOLE month to sit around and do nothing at all…well I'll still write..but other than that..nothing!…..wow..sorry I really went off topic there..anyways…keep reading!

Gaarasminestayaway: lol..don't hurt urself too bad there…but im really happy that u thought it was good!..thanks!

Winner: well I think I kind of said something like he hadn't been with other girls in a long time…and I was trying to get at the fact that he hasn't slept with anyone in a while….sorry for the confusion..i didn't expect people to pick that up..so I said it at the end…I didn't really want sasuke to be a virgin..but im glad u liked it! oh and congrats to you for being my 100th review!..lol..thanks so much!

Gaarasminestayaway: ok…..i understood the first part and thanks a lot for the review…but u totally lost me later..lol..oh and yes please kill those idiots!..i hate exams!..haha..but thanks!

Sweetblacksorrow: lol..i sympathize with you too…thanks for the review!

SushiLuver: thanks..it is SOO hard doing a sasuke POV..so im glad u like it..but in the next fic that I write…I will definitely not stick to one pov…it is a pain in the ass!…oh yeah..and spelling …lets not even go there..simply put..im not a speller..haha….and about the chapter numbering…I have repeat chapter numbers becuz I didn't want people to think it was two different chapters..it was just two versions…I think that's what ur talking about..anyways..sorry if it confused you..but thanks for r and r-ing! By the way..i luv sushi too!

Heartless Ghost: thanks for understanding!..i really didn't want to leave u guys hanging for a week so I had to tell u!..and thanks for the luck..unfortunately its English and English is a bitch…so luck didn't help..but who cares!..never have to do it again! haha

mistress of mist: ouch..good luck on ur exams!

Winner: thanks!..im not stopping till this thing is done!..and im really happy to hear that u liked it!

sasusaku90: lol..yes finally!..now hopefully one day he'll come around in the real series!..lol..thanks!

Sekiryu: lol…yay..another person who is confused about the waiting!..well that's the point..i don't want to reveal why he's waiting till near the end!…so I'll keep u in suspense for now!…and yeah..they're both supposed to be very hot people…imagine if they had kids…how beautiful would they be!..lol..thanks for the review..and keep reading…u'll find out soon enough!

Aerith Gainsborough Strife: thanks…yes..a rare stroke of genius on my part…but just like writing in sasuke's pov..its really challenging to only write in flashbacks…becuz it makes sasuke look like some creep who remembers all details of every day he's ever lived…but I guess u could say that he really loves her?..lol..i dunno..but thanks again!

By the way you guys are THE best readers EVER...i mean...u even reviewed when i had an author's note!...oh yeah..if it gets confusing its b/c some people reviewed twice for different chapters...so i reviewed it all in the order that they were sent!

Like always, THANKS SOOO MUCH for the all of your reviews and support and comments and advice!..i appreciate it soo much and u've all been so loyal in reading my fic..and it makes me unimaginably happy every time i get a review email!..i can't believe that i actually have over 100 reviews!...i was SOO excited!..still am!..lol..anyways..look for the next chapter! and feel free to tell me what u think again!

See you soon!


	14. Chapter 12: Frustrations and Fears

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

hellooo...ok..soo this is a continuation of the last chapter..and its much longer too!..yay!...its again more serious than the last..but i hope u guys like it!

Enjoy!

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Chapter 12: Frustrations and Fears

**Flashback Continued**

_The clock at my bedside table read 2 o'clock. Two in the morning that is. The last time Sakura wasn't sleeping next to me she was ready to rip my testicles out for something that I did (that I never did again, might I add). As pathetic as it sounds, I miss her. My bed seems bigger and colder than I last remembered it. To top things off, I couldn't' help but feel like there was something wrong. Call it my shinobi senses but I'm worried and I feel like I have good reason to be._

_What could she possibly have to tell me? Something went wrong after the doctor's appointment; that much was certain. Damnit! I should have gone in with her. I should have been there!_

_I tried running every possibility through my head but I refused to accept any of them. There was no way that something bad was going to happen to her. The last thought that popped into my head was pregnancy. What if she was pregnant? I couldn't help but feel a nervous excitement grow at the pit of my stomach. That in it's self scared me. I was excited to father a child? No, I was excited to father a child with **her.** I stopped my train of thought. Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up but it was very possible. Sakura and I have rarely worried about protection. It may have been a foolish idea, but we trusted each other._

_Thoughts of there being an Uchiha inside Sakura allowed me to relax, and eventually fall asleep._

_But not for long. A few hours later, I sat up in shock as I remembered my nightmare. It was of my father yelling at me to become more worthy of his attention, and slowly, my father turned into me and I was yelling at my own son. What if I really do become like my father? How could I be a parent if I couldn't even remember my own parents save for my father's constant screaming._

_I shook my head. Why was I thinking about this when I wasn't even sure what Sakura was going to tell me? What if it really was nothing? Whatever it was it was driving me crazy, again…and making me lose sleep, again._

_I looked over at the clock again and this time a big glaring five blinked back at me. Only nine more hours until I find out._

_There's no point in lying in bed when I obviously wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. I slid out of bed and started going through my morning routine, and I was out of my house in half an hour._

_Training never failed to clear my mind and that's exactly what I needed right now. I walked swiftly towards the training field. When I crossed over the familiar bridge and into the familiar clearing, all I could think about was Sakura. Guilt, anticipation, and worry coursed through me. I was guilty for not being there with her and worried for the news she would tell me. Most of all, I was frustrated. Not only could I not fix this problem, I didn't even know what the problem was. I vowed to protect her; at least, that was my duty because I love her right? But it's so damn hard to protect her when I don't know what I'm supposed to fend off._

_My mind was so muddled with these thoughts that I just started throwing punches and kicks sometimes at targets and sometimes at imaginary enemies. I was relentless in my barrage of attacks, and it seemed the best way to take my mind off of my real problems._

_When my muscles started to ache from overuse, I stopped and sat under the tree I was supposed to meet Sakura at later on. I hoped more than anything that Sakura would be ok. Before, I refused to accept any of the scenarios my mind came up with because they all ended with Sakura suffering. Fear gripped my heart at the thought; I wouldn't be able to handle that._

_I looked up at the tree I was sitting under and it reminded me of our first date. We were incredibly nervous then, or at least I was. To be honest, it was my first real date ever and I wasn't exactly sure how to be a 'good' date. The fact that I was still feeling insecure didn't help either. (A/N: a flashback within a flashback…weird…oh well!)_

_I closed my eyes and frustration welled up inside of me again. Angry. I was just pissed off now. Of all the people who could have bad news from the doctor's why did it have to be her? Why am I always being punished for trying to love someone?_

_Angry, frustrated, worry, guilt-filled tears burned my eyes, threatening to fall, and I smashed my fist furiously into the ground, hoping that the pain in my hand would block out the pain I was currently feeling. But I couldn't feel anything in my hand and my eyes continued to burn as I squeezed them shut harder. I couldn't let anything happen to her. I won't let anything happen to her. No matter what it is, I will protect her._

_Somehow, through all that anger and frustration, I drifted off under the cool shade of the tree._

_A few hours passed by until again, I woke up in cold sweat. This time the nightmare was about something far worse than bad parenting. The images of Sakura crying out for me on a hospital bed played over and over again in my mind. In my dream, I couldn't' reach her and she couldn't see that I was standing in the doorway. She kept crying out in pain and desperation. I felt chilled to the bone and my hands were shaking so badly. I hoped that all this waiting was just getting to my head and that the worrying was all a false alarm. It was more than hope though; it was a dependence and a need. I needed it all to be a false alarm._

_I got up from my pathetic state on the ground and dragged my exhausted body home. All the physical training and mental panic had taken its toll on me. I needed to take another hot shower and mentally prepare myself for my meeting with Sakura._

_As I unlocked the door to my house, I was mentally crossing my fingers, hoping that when I swung the door open, I would find her in the kitchen. However, as my door really did swing open, all I found was an empty and silent house._

_I trudged in, throwing my keys onto the counter and pulled off my sticky clothing. When the hot water of the shower pounded down on me, I didn't feel any of the stress wash away, as it usually did. As I closed my eyes, my mind became clouded with all the images of my previous dream, just as the room was becoming foggy with steam._

_Once again, I was frustrated. Frustrated with the lack of desired affect I thought the shower would provide for me. I got dressed and sat down on my bed. Propping my elbows on my knees, I ran my hands through my hair. I was ready to rip my hair out from all of the frustration I was feeling._

_Through the crack between my fingers I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. Surprisingly, through all the training and drifting off and showering, I managed to blow off many hours. My clock read ten to one. Only an hour before I met her. I knew that if I sat in my house waiting for her, I would drive myself more insane or end up in front of the neglected TV. So I got up and left in the direction of the training field again. I would wait for her there. Maybe she would also decide to show up early._

_Again, I found myself sitting under the same tree that Sakura and I had shared a lot of memories under. I tried desperately to sit there like a rock without any thoughts. Whatever she had to tell me, I had to be strong._

_As I sat there reminding myself that I had maintain my composure, a blur of ANBU sped past the bridge, through the field, and into the forest. What could possibly be that urgent at 1 o'clock in the afternoon? Soon after, I saw Kakashi-sensei sprinting after them._

_"Kakashi!" I yelled out_

_He stopped in his tracks and turned towards me._

_"Sasuke! We need you too!"_

_"Need me? For what?"_

_"This is urgent, so I'm not going to beat around with bush with you," He paused looking at me with eyes full of warning. I knew something was wrong since Kakashi- sensei was acting serious._

_"Orochimaru is back."_

_"Back?" I choked out._

_"There's no time for explaining, we have to contain him and his men before he reaches the busier parts of the village."_

_I was in complete disbelief. It's not like I thought him incapable of attacking again, I was just so lost in the new life I had built for myself to ever stop to think about the bastard attacking again._

_Anger boiled in me. How dare he show his face here again? That fucking bastard almost ruined what I had left of my life and I want to serve him all the hell he put me through. I'll be damned if I let him get even close to the village. I will destroy him._

_I looked back at the tree. I still had almost an hour before I had to meet Sakura, and I reasoned that I will have already crushed Orochimaru before then._

_I nodded at Kakashi and we sped after the ANBU men._

_This would be the perfect outlet for all the pent up emotions that had threatened to boil over the entire day. Not to mention the fact that I have waited years for this, for a chance to inflict the most excruciating pain on the sennin. From the second I entered the village of Sound, I knew that one day I would destroy him. No one controls an Uchiha and gets away with it. Today was my lucky day._

_When we arrived, a large-scale battle was already taking place, and I could recognize a few of Konoha's most talented ninja amongst the chaos. By the looks of it, Orochimaru had brought along every one of his pathetic minions. But I could sense him immediately. My curse seal began to burn for the first time in a long time. The stronger I could sense him, the stronger the pain in my neck and shoulder. It was starting to become unbearable and everything in front of me became blurry._

_"Sasssssuke," an all too familiar voice hissed at me from behind._

_I twisted around with lightening speed but I couldn't see anything besides more blurry figures in combat._

_"Long time no see," the voice said from behind me again_

_I swung my fist angrily towards him but again, there was no one there. That fucking bastard loved to play tricks with me._

_"Fuck Orochimaru! Stop being such a fucking coward and let me beat the shit out of you!" I yelled out angrily._

_Suddenly, my vision cleared and I was standing in the clearing completely void of any other ninja._

_"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought I taught you patience Sasuke." Orohimaru was now standing in front of me, mocking me._

_"The only thing you taught me was that I should kick your ass whenever I get the chance." I spat back._

_"Oh Sasuke, will you ever learn? That mark on your shoulder means that I have control over you forever….until the day - you - die." He hissed out._

_He reached out his hand and placed it onto the curse mark. I swung my arm at him but I was too slow and he caught it with his other arm._

_Upon contact, the pain that burned through my veins was excruciating. My eyes burned and my vision deteriorated again as I fell to my knees. I tried to pry his hand off of me but I couldn't. More pain coursed through me and I fell onto my hands._

_"You're a fucking piece of shit," I hissed out._

_"Now, now Sasuke, you're in no position to disrespect your master."_

_"Fuck off!" I slowly got back onto my feet and tried to formulate a plan of attack with the pain still searing through me._

_"If you continue to use that obscene language with me, I will be forced to teach you a lesson."_

_"Why the hell are you here? There's nothing left in Konoha for you!" I was trying to buy myself time._

_"I thought I would pay my most handsome student a visit, I've missed you Sasuke-kun. Haven't you missed me?" He hissed uncomfortably close to me._

_"You're fucked up"_

_"You have no idea…oh and there's something else here for me too," He paused and licked his lips, "I hear there's a very powerful, not to mention beautiful, medic nestled here in Konoha."_

_"Shut the fuck up," I said menacingly._

_"My my, I always thought you weren't interested in women. What else could I assume when you took no particular interest in any females that I presented to you. But I think now I've found the real reason for that. You had someone dear to your heart back home didn't you? How sickeningly sweet Sasuke-kun, but I must say, I'm jealous."_

_I kneed him in the gut, " I said shut the fuck up!" His body flew into a tree where he crashed and slid down to the ground._

_I watched as he stood slowly. He smirked maliciously at me and wiped the blood from his mouth with his hand. He then proceeded to lick that hand in sick content._

_"If I were you, I would be very careful about what you do to me, Sasuke. Even if you have no disregard for what happens to your body, I'm sure you wouldn't want me to hurt a certain little cherry blossom. Oh, how I would love for you to give me a reason to hurt her. Inflict the most delicious pain upon her tight body until she screamed and begged me to stop." His eyes were filled with sadistic lust as he slowly said the last words._

_An uncontrollable fear coursed through me and blended into pure anger._

_"You would be dead before you could even reach her." I replied with my own sadistic pleasure._

_"Are you so sure?" He replied with a callous smile._

_In a flash, he was gone. I whipped around searching wildly for him. I turned around again at the sound of someone behind me. I could barely stop myself from throwing my kunai when I saw who it was._

_"Sakura?"_

_There was a woman on the ground. A sickening feeling passed through me as I saw her trade mark blossom coloured hair. She was on the ground, a pool of blood surrounding her and seeping from a wound in her head and abdomen._

_"Sakura!" I yelled in horror as I ran towards her._

_My heart was pounding in my ears and I prayed that she was still alive. But when I reached for her and felt for a pulse, I realized with dreaded terror that her hands were ice cold._

_"Sakura! Sakura please wake up! Sakura!"_

_I couldn't help the tears from falling from my eyes as I tried to shake her awake. This couldn't happen; I was supposed to protect her with my life. I needed her to live. She was the only one I had; only one I loved._

_"Sakura…please."_

_I held her cold body to me, desperately trying to bring her back to life. Tears constantly blurred my vision and all I managed to see around me was crimson staining pink._

_"I need you…I..need you." I whispered to her._

_"Fool!" A voice hissed from behind me, "Pathetic FOOL!"_

_"SASUKE!"_

**To Be Continued!**

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heyy!

ok..this chapter was and interesting one..and i liked writing it...for some reason..evil things are easier to write than happy things...mwuahhahaa...ok..i'll stop with that..lol...

I am so clsoe to the end..that i can taste it! lol

WOW..SOOO many of you thought that Sakura was pregnant!...is my story that predictable?..lol..as u will read later...it was hard to respond to the same guesses..but still loved to see that thats what u thought!

Anyways..here are my replies!..i was rushed with them this week so sorry about that!

sasusaku4eva101: lol..thanks..and hmm….big neon sign huh?…I don't see it…haha..but thanks for reviewing!

sasusaku90: Thanks!..and yeah..i knew the last chapter was short but this one is back to normal length!..yay!..so I hoped u enjoyed this one!

DemonGirl11: can't exactly answer ur question:P..lol..but keep reading..and maybe u'll find out!

Wolfs: haha…yeah I guess u and sasuke have something in common..waiting..lol..im sorry for that…but this one is back to the regular schedule..and as long as it should be…so I hope this makes u happy!..thanks!

Aion teleos: aww..thanks SO much!. I've always been afraid that everything was a bit rushed so to hear that u thought it as developed is great! And I can't tell u whats gonna happen with what sakura found out..but I hope u read it!..thanks again!

naruto fan: thanks..and I hope this was ASAP enough for you!

Claud-kun: you're like the millionth person to ask me that..haha..and I won't tell you!..lol…but thanks and read and find out!..and review again!..lol

Aerith Gainsborough Strife: lol..i'm curious to see what ur predictions are…are u thinking she's pregnant too?..lol..well thanks for reviewing!

InterwovenEmotions: yay Canada! Lol..well ur the millionth person to predict that…but like I said..can't say..so keep reading!..and thanks!

Sweetblacksorrow: another guess for pregnancy!…lol…yay..bad spellers unite!..haha…thanks for the review..keep reading!

SakuraUchiha4: Thanks..i hope this is equally as interesting for you!

crimson neji boxers xD: I'm glad u liked it..and this one's longer haha…and soooo many pregnancy guesses..that I don't even know what to say anymore!..lol..well hope u liked this chapter!

UntamedGodess: Thanks! I'll try

Nanirain: yes..i feel bad for him too..lol…but I kind of like torturing him too…haha…aww..i luv u for loving my fic!..ur fantastic..lol..thanks!

SushiLuver: yay!..another bad speller!..and another preggers gues!…lol

I can't wait until u guys find out what happens...im excited to see ur reactions!...as always..love hearing from all of you! and tell me what u thought about this chapter!..is sasuke getting OOC?...im always worried about that...heh heh...ok..yeah i'l stop babbling

see ya!


	15. Chapter 13: He Waited, She Came

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

ok..so this is the last chappie!...tear.. i'm soooo sorry its late!...i worked REALLY hard on this chap..so i reallly really hope you like it!...theres not much more i can say cuz i don't want to spoil it..so read my notes at the end!

oh!...and you'll need this to understand whats going on:

_ITALICS font means flashback (i won't be announcing start or beginning of a flashback in this chap..i don't want to ruin the flow of the events so pay attention!)_

**BOLD font means Sasuke's present thoughts **

NORMAL font means third person...the story started in this style..then u got to know him more personally so it switched..and now..its ending off in this narration .

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13: He waited..She came**

_Relief quickly flooded my body as my surroundings disappeared around me and was again replaced by the battle that was going on. Sakura's body in my arms also faded and I was left holding air. As confused as I was, I soon realized that it had all been one of Orochimaru's twisted genjutsus. But the familiar voices at the end sounded so real…where'd they come from? _

_"SASUKE!" _

_I knew that voice. I whipped my head around and felt my heart stop. _

On his hands and knees he crawled, the tears flooding his eyes and blurring everything in front and around him. This new moisture that he did not feel for days, now threatened to spill.

It could have happened three days ago, three hours ago, or even three minutes ago. He lost all track of time and all the events blurred together, making it impossible to distinguish what happened when. But who the fuck cared about time? The result was clear, and the clarity made him want to vomit.

And vomit he did. He threw up but nothing came out because he hadn't eaten in a long time and he cried out in frustration. He crumpled into a feeble form onto the ground.

_She collapsed in front of me and I tried my best to catch her. I watched her fall and I couldn't breathe. _

_"Sakura" I could only whisper her name.. "Sakura…" _

_"SAKURA!" I screamed as she hit the ground and I saw the kunai imbedded into her chest. _

_I crawled desperately toward her and prayed that this was just another genjutsu. But as she looked up at me with a gentle smile on her face, I knew that it wasn't. The smile was just too real. _

_"Sakura…" I couldn't say anything else. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't understand anything that was happening. _

_I cradled her body against mine; tears, once again, blurring my vision. _

_"Sasuke… I love you.." She said in a voice so quiet I could barely hear her. And she closed her eyes peacefully like she was only taking a nap. _

_"Sakura…"I whispered again. "Sakura..." _

_"Only fools die for love." _

_I looked up to see Orochimaru laughing like it was all a joke and I couldn't even bring myself to get up and hurt him. All I felt was panic and the feeling that if this wasn't all another dream, I wouldn't be able to live. I couldn't think about anything else. _

_I looked back down, "Sakura, wake up, please wake up." _

**What right did Sakura have to die for me? Or what right did I have to be protected by her? I was the one who left her all those years ago. I was the one who turned my back on her when she loved me. She let me in again and the least I could do for her was to give my life to her. It wasn't supposed to be the other way around! It just wasn't fair! **

It was like some horrible nightmare that he woke up from only to find that it was real. And again he let out a hoarse cry. Until now, he refused to think about her death. Before, the images of the events leading up to that moment had been playing over and over again, but not her death. He was trying to grasp onto her and onto every memory he had of her and them together. He was so afraid to lose her, to forget the curves of her face or his memories of her. But now that he did think about her death, the pain came rushing back.

He felt empty. So incredibly empty and devoid of any emotions except pain and sadness and grief. He didn't have anyone to talk to and he had nowhere to go anymore.

How could he go home? He would only see her in the kitchen, putting away the groceries she bought for him, giggling, smiling. If he walked down the street, he would see her waiting at the ramen house for him or coming out from the hospital.

No. He didn't want to go anywhere. This was the place she loved to come to watch the sunset. This was their place and every breeze and blade of grass and branch of a tree was her. This is where he said he would meet her. This is where she said she would meet him. New tears spilled onto the dirt beneath him. **She said she would meet me here… **

_We were all gathered at the edge of the training clearing, where Sakura and I had our first picnic over a year ago. _

_"She was a talented and cherished woman. May she rest in peace." _

_Everyone around me put their flowers onto the freshly dug soil like they were ready to give her up. Like it was fine that she was buried under ground and would never get up again. I wished so much that I could be like everyone else. I wanted to put my flowers down and walk away like the rest of them but I couldn't. Behind me, Naruto was on the ground crying like a pitiable baby. He was weak and it disgusted me. I refused to cry. I wanted to walk away too, but my legs wouldn't move. Weakness. That's what I get for falling in love. I'm being punished for believing that I could be happy …that I could love and be loved. _

_I clutched the flowers in my hand, willing myself to put them down amongst the other flowers but my hand just gripped them harder. _

_People were now coming up to me, offering their condolences. Why did these stupid people think I cared if they were sorry? They're not even really sorry. They're relieved instead, relieved that it wasn't their loved one's funeral they were attending. Well fuck them! I don't care what anyone has to say to me. I just want to leave. I never want to see her again. _

_I felt a hand on me, "Sasuke," I ignored the voice. _

_"Sasuke," The person shook me _

_What the fuck? Why can't this person leave me alone? _

_I looked up. It was the Hokage. I wanted to lash out at her and wipe off that look of pity. I didn't need pity. _

_"Sasuke, I'm sorry." _

_I didn't look at her and I didn't say anything back. I didn't need another stupid apology but when I heard some sniffling, I looked up. She was crying. I resisted the urge to yell at her. _

_"I..I'm truly sorry for you losses, I know how much S-Sakura was looking forward to motherhood." _

_My head snapped up. "What?" _

_"I..I thought she told you," _

_"Told me what?" My heart was pounding loudly in my ears. _

_A pained look crossed her face, "Sakura was pregnant." _

_Pregnant? I brushed past Tsunade and closer to Sakura's grave, searching as if I would find some evidence to prove that she was telling the truth. _

_She was going to tell me something…was that it? My eyes started to burn with familiar tears and I squeezed them shut. I didn't want to cry anymore. Crying was for weaklings. I was supposed to be strong. _

_I was surrounded by people crying for her. Naruto and Hinata, Ino, Lee, and some people she knew from work. They were all crying, and for what? Because they lost a friend? They were all so pathetic and I hated them so much. What right did they have to cry or be upset? No one lost as much as I did. Sakura wasn't just my friend; she was my life. No one deserved to cry because they didn't understand the meaning of pain. _

**…I said I would meet her here., and I left. I left so that I could destroy Orochimaru. I left her for Orochimaru. I left her. If I had stayed… **

He couldn't bring himself to say what he thought was true.

He looked down at himself and noticed that he was still in his black suit from the funeral. But now the once crisp suit that Sakura had ironed for him was wrinkled and covered in dirt. He never did manage to walk away from her grave.. he couldn't bring himself to leave her side.

Ironic wasn't it? All those years ago, it had been Sasuke leaving behind a desperate Sakura and now here he was desperate for her to come back to him. Desperate for her to say it was all just another illusion. He never thought he would feel like this, like he would be the one begging, pleading, and crying….but it's ironic how love works.

Pain. There was nothing that could describe the pain that ripped through him over and over again. **I should have protected her but instead I let her die for me. She died in front of me and I did nothing to stop it. **

Guilt. Waves and waves of guilt mingled with the pain he felt. And he cried. Cried every tear that he ever held back in his life. Nothing ever had the ability to bring him to tears. Nothing except her. Nothing else mattered.

As the tears streamed down his face in a torrent, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, not bothering to wipe his shameful tears. He just didn't care enough about that anymore.

"Sasuke.."

When he saw who it was, he chose to turn away from him.

"Sasuke, listen to me. You can't stay here forever."

Sasuke brushed the man's hand off of his shoulder, but the man urged him to turn to look at him.

"Sasuke, come on," He said softly, "Just come and stay with us for a while."

Sasuke refused to turn and refused to acknowledge the man's existence.

"Here, I brought you this to eat." He held out a sandwich on a plate wrapped in cling wrap.

"I'm not hungry," Were Sasuke's first words.

"You haven't eaten for days…since…then…," the man paused, "Please Sasuke, the least you could do is eat it."

"I said I'm not hungry."

"You can't starve yourself! You have to be hungry! Don't be stupid!"

"I'm not fucking hungry!" Screamed Sasuke as he turned around and smashed the plate with the sandwich on it onto the ground.

"Sasuke, you can't do this to yourself. It's not healthy." He said concernedly.

"I don't care."

Frustrated, the man yelled, "You're being stupid! Why do you have to act like such a child! You're not the only one who cared about her! We're all hurting, you know! Why do you have to act like it's only you, like you're the only one suffering?"

"Shut up Naruto." Sasuke said in a deathly quiet voice.

"No, you're being fucking selfish right now. I get it, ok? You loved her. But we all did. Do – Do you think she would have wanted you to rot here?"

"SHUT UP!…you don't get anything! No –No one fucking understands!"

"There you go again acting like you're all alone. I'm tired of trying to beat around the bush with you. I can't watch you become this….because…because I know that Sakura never would have wanted you to be this way."

"You don't know what Sakura would have wanted! She's not fucking here so stop pretending like you know what she wants!" Sasuke broke out in angry, guilt-ridden tears.

Naruto couldn't say anything to that. He fell back into his saddened silence.

"She….She was …pregnant." Sasuke choked out the last word. "She was pregnant and I let her die! She was carrying my child and she…I let her go.."

He looked up at Naruto to see if he would respond but Naruto's face became ashen.

"I …I was supposed to meet her here. She was going to tell me that she was pregnant. I would have had a family…a child..and her. But I left. I left because I'm a fucking idiot! I left her and now she's gone..they're gone!..I…I would have married her.. I wanted to marry her…but I left her…for a stupid fight!…I left her…it's my ..my fault she's.. gone." Sasuke's words were broken up erratically by his tears and strangled out sobs.

Naruto remained silent. What could he say? He was frightened to see Sasuke the way he was. Never in the years he had known him did he ever see Sasuke looking as pathetically torn as he did now. He never thought Sasuke was capable of becoming this way because, even though they were always rivals, Sasuke was always the strong one, the unbreakable one. And here he was… broken.

When he was met with Naruto's silence, Sasuke continued. "So what are you going to say to that?" He asked bitterly. "Are you going to tell me that everyone understands me? That everyone knows how I feel? I killed her! I killed her and our child! So what the fuck can you say to me now?"

"It's not your fault," Naruto managed to say.

Sasuke looked up at him with bitterly incredulous eyes.

"You didn't know. There is no way you could have predicted the future."

"I said I would meet her here! Didn't you hear me?..If I had waited for her, we would have left this place and none of this would have happened!"

"You wanted to help ANBU! You didn't mean for her to try and find you!"

"But she did! Because I didn't stay there!"

"No! You're being stupid! You can't blame yourself for this!"

"Fuck off Naruto! Fuck off! If it had… If it had been Hinata and you…you would understand me. But don't fucking pretend like you know how I fucking feel because you don't! No one does! Just fucking leave me alone!"

Naruto gave up trying to reason with him verbally and tried to drag Sasuke to his feet. But Sasuke threw him off angrily and punched him in the face. He didn't care if this was his best friend. He didn't want friends; he didn't want anyone.

"FUCK OFF!" Sasuke roared.

Naruto looked at his best friend's face, and it was full of malice. He couldn't watch Sasuke throw his life away. He wanted to persuade Sasuke through any means possible but Sasuke's words had shaken him. He learned things that made him feel guilty for what he had said earlier. But Sasuke was not someone Naruto knew anymore. He didn't know what to say to him or what he could do. He turned around and walked away back to his home, his Hinata.

Although it was hard for him to admit all that he did, Sasuke knew it was the truth. As much as he would have liked to hate Orochimaru and be happy for his death, he knew that ultimately his own actions led to Sakura's death. He left and she tried to find him, and while he was trapped in Orochimaru's genjutsu, she protected him.

**Everything. Everything that was my family is gone. She – She was carrying my child. We were going to be a family. **

He should have let her go when he had the chance. He should have told her that he wasn't good enough for her. He should have revealed to her that he ruined all happiness in life because it was, after all, the truth. He couldn't remember the last time happiness had ever lasted for him. And then a familiar though crossed his mind. Maybe if he had let her go, he wouldn't feel this way, he wouldn't be suffering this way… But he was selfish, so goddamned selfish.

The images of Sakura falling in slow motion flashed in his mind again. **There isn't ever going to be anyone like her again. And she isn't ever going to come back. **

She gave him so much. She taught him so much. She was the one who turned a beast into a man. She had the ability to melt his frozen heart and make him jealous. She would never again be able to wash away his hidden insecurities by telling him that she loved him. She made him apologetic and now he couldn't even apologize for the one thing he needed to apologize for the most. He wouldn't be able to open up to her and he wouldn't be able to watch another sunset with her. She made him fall in love. THE Sasuke Uchiha, incapable of showing any kind of affection, fell in love. He let her into his life and she became an indispensable part of him. She gave him everything.

**I let her down. I used to think that if I really wanted to, I could protect her no matter what. I used to think that since she meant so much to me, I would find a way to save her from anything. I wanted to protect her with my life... but I didn't.**

As pathetic as it was, he wasn't anything without her and he knew that. He couldn't exist without her. How was he supposed to handle life without her after having been with her, after having fallen in love with her.

He couldn't.

**I can't and I won't live without her. No, she isn't gone forever and I'm going to get her back. I promised to meet her here. **He laid his head against the cool, rough earth of Sakura's grave.

The flow of Sasuke's tears started to slow and his heartbeat returned to normal. He knew what he was going to do and he felt a sudden peacefulness. He lay there with all the torment of the past fading away. He knew that she would meet him here; he knew how to reach her again. All he wanted was to see her smile again and feel the soft ends of her pink hair brush his face as she kissed him.

The peacefulness of his new situation also made him aware of the exhaustion that he had tried to ignore for the past weeks. The lack of food and lack of sleep were catching up to him and he became progressively weaker, and more tired.

The heavy guilt in his heart faded as he thought about her and all of the times that Sakura would tell him that she loved him, washing away his insecurity.

He let his eyes close serenely and he pictured her at his refrigerator, giggling about him. He saw her standing in the clearing watching the sunset with her hair blowing softly around her and he smiled when he saw her yelling angrily at him while trying to kick him out of her house. Then they were in his bedroom and her arms were around him from behind as she pressed the side of her face against his back. He saw her resting her head on his shoulder telling him that she loved him for the first time. Next, she was sitting on his bed in front of him with a gift in her hand. Lastly, he saw her walking through the doors of the hospital and realized that that was the last time he saw her before….everything happened.

"Sakura.." He whispered to no one.

The last thing he saw was her leaning down with a smile and the last thing he felt was the soft tips of her hair tickling his face as she kissed him. He waited…and she came. Now, they would truly be together forever.

"I love you."

**The End**

* * *

Hey guys! 

Wow you guys must all really hate me now!..i killed off sakura i know!..im soooo sorry..but it had to happen...seeing as how this was supposed to be an angsty fic right?..well i knew she was gonna die all along so i was kinda getting worried about u guys being pissed at me since soo many people were like she better not die..hehe...well it was my idea before i even started writing the fic out...and most of u guessed the pregnant thing..so congrats to u!

This will probably be the last time i get to say stuff for a while...i don't know when i will be starting my next fic..i need to get the motivation...which i lost many times through this fic..but im really glad i managed to finish it!

This chapter was a killer for me...i don't know why..i thought it was going to be easy..but i must have rewrote it like 80 times...i just wanted it to be perfect...so if there's any spelling mistake or something..im just gonna go shoot myself..:S..lol..anyways...thats why this chap is a little delayed..which i apologize for!...but i literally sat here for days and days writing this chap..well yeah like i mentioned above..i hope u really like it..and i tried to be all deep at the end like switching narration to represent how sasuke wanted to become detatched from everything in the outside world...lol..i don't think deep is my thing tho..

Before i start my replies..i want to say thank you ALL soo much for all of your support!..really everytime i didn't feel motivated to finish a chapter..i read ur reviews and they really helped me to get inspired to get the next chapter out!...u guys made writing this a really good experience and i can't believe that its been like 3 or 4 months and that the fic is over 40 000 words and i've gotten over 140 reviews!..all of this amazes me...(i get amazed by little things :D)..lol.and special thanks goes out to all of those people who took the time to review for every chapter that came out..u know who you are..and im grateful to have such faithful readers!

ok well...here are my replies:

sasusaku90: well..there you go…u were right! And if u guess preggers…u were right again!…lol..well I hope u like the ending as much as u liked the whole fic!..thanks for ur support!

Dancingwithinbrokendreams: thanks…tell me what you think about the end ok?..sorry for the delay! And thanks so much for all ur reviews…they were great inspirations!

DemonGirl11: you are definitely loved!..lol..and I hope this meets ur expectations! And I feel like I should give something back to people who did take the time to review..anyways..tell me what u think and thanx!

Asimi: thanks sooo much!…really I appreciate what you had to say..it feels really good to hear that!..and I hope I have kept it up!

naruto fan: I hate cliffies too!…but now that I could write my own, it was SOO much fun…. Heh heh…sorry that u had to suffer for my amusement…lol..well now all the cliffies were addressed..hope u like it!..and thnx for reviewing!

Claud-kun: lol..yeah..i wanted to confuse people with the last chapter and leave it off like that.. I thought it would be interesting..but now everything is revealed!. So what do u think?…lol…pouting doesn't work on me…lol..but I hope this was soon enough for you.. anyways..thanks!

SushiLuver: yes exactly!…I always feel like everything is too cheesy and OOC for sasuke. I thought this chapter was going to be the easiest one to write but surprisingly..SOO not the case!..wow…it was difficult even with all the sadness…oh..and u were also rite about the illusion..lol..congrats on that..and thanks for ur support!

animefreak8292: thanks!…tell me what u think of the end too..please?..lol (I really did try to get it out fast..)

Sweetblacksorrow: thanks so much!…yeah..all that was explained in this chapter…do u get it now?..lol…tell me what u think

ailatan uchiha: well..now she really did die..its sad!..and I really hate to destroy your vision of her being alive!…but I hope u still liked it!..and thanks for reviewing!

SORAxANDxKAIRIx4EVERx0508: was the ending of that chapter really that funny?..lol…I hope u liked this chap!..tell me what u think..and hopefully this one wasn't funny..:P

Letty: thanks!..ur awesome too!..lol

SakuraUchiha4: lol!…well now you know..what do u think?…thanks for the encouragement!

Aion teleos: Yeah..i totally agree!..he freaks me out…but great predicitions….they were partially right…Orochimaru wasnted to kill sasuke..but I didn't focus on that cuz I didn't want it to become something important I wanted to focus on sasuke and sakura…but again, good guess…and I didn't want you to suffer!….well maybe a little..haha..but anyways thanks a lot and I hope I answered ur unanswered questions!

Winner: I wanted a cliff hanger!..lol..and I didn't forget..it was my plan to leave it off until now..haha…thanks..and I hope u liked the end!

Wolfs: lol..yes I know….i felt really bad for him in this chap…and I do hate oro too…I hope this satisfied ur curiosity!..and thanks for reviewing!

Aerith Gainsborough Strife: lol…well…hehe…I kinds feel bad now...cuz he did do something to sakura..hehe…but I hope u still liked it!…and..uhh..thanks!..lol..sorry about sakura again!..and don't cry!

Suicidal Butterfly: lol…she is dead…:(..sorry!…yes I know..sasuke loves her..but that's the irony of it all see?..lol…and I didn't really explain how Orochimaru so that's left up to ur imagination..personally..i like that idea of CATS and sharp things..lol…and I won't even try to understand the MEEP..lol…thanks for reviewing!..tell me what u think about this chap too..sorry if I disappointed you

Crimson Romance:..lol..i know..i can't help it!…we haven't really ever seen sasuke in love with anyone..so we don't really know how he's gonna act..right?..lol..well that's my excuse..i tried hard!..lol…thanks tho..i tried to make him less OOC in this chap..but that was even harder since he was always crying…oh well..thanks again! And tell me what u think of him!

Crystal: OMG thanks!..lol..i guess I did let u know huh?…well u were right about it not ending happy..hehe…but it was suppose to be angsty wasn't it?..lol..well thanks again!

Tishni: lol..sorry!…I didn't want her to die either…but its supposed to be an angst fic!..lol…but Oro dies…so at least u got one of ur wishes…and thanks! im glad u love it!…I hope u still do love it!…oh and in the end..they do kinda live happily ever after…right?..lol

VcChick: I did my best!..hope it was soon enough for you!..lol…tell me what u think of the end!..lol..and thanks!

PHew! that was the most reviews i got for one chap!.

thanks again to everyone!...even though this is the last chapter..please tell me what you guys thought!..i'm especially curious if u thought this was a good ending..even though sakura did die..oh and i know the perspectives kept changing which might have been confusing..so like always if u have any questions please feel free to ask cuz i will reply ..i can answer anything now since im not trying to keep the plot a secret!..yay!...so yeah i lied before..i will probably write one more time just to reply to all ur reviews..its the least i can do for all of u :)

well ..till then..bye!

PS. i hate the summary for this fic..but i am HORRIBLE at summaries!..as u can see..if someone wants to help me out with that i would be forever grateful!..i jst really want to change it!


	16. AN

_A/N:_

Hey guys,

I've been getting a huge response for this last chapter, and im actually still getting reviews so i want to thank you once again for all of your support.

As predicted, i have also been getting a lot of ...urm...colourful emails in response to Sakura's death. and i'm very sorry once again, but from the very beginning i knew she was going to die and i have been warning everyone of the sad ending all along. I wanted to have a final author's note because i have been getting a lot of questions about sasuke at the end and i wanted to make my intentions clear. My intentions in writing the end of this fic was to give the reader an idea about what happened to sasuke but not to put it so bluntly. But for clarity purposes, when i wrote that she had come to him at the end, i meant that he did in fact die to be with her.

I know this is not as much of a consolation as it would have been if i had just wrote that it was all a dream and she is alive but as a huge sasu/saku fan, i did want them to end with each other ( and i thought that this way was romantic...is that twisted of me?). So i hope that at least brought some happiness to those who were a bit bitter.

Anyways, thank you all for reading and reviewing, I've been wanting to start a new story for ages but i'm being bogged down by school, the final year of high school is killing me! If and when i do find time, my next idea for a fic won't have an angst ending (i promise!), it will actually be VERY adult (catch my drift?)...i feel more inspired to write something like that at the moment than anything too cheery/fluffy or anything too angsty.

So i really hope that you all will give me the same response and support when i decide to start my new fic!

Until then!


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